about

Well... I've had a lot of columns here, but it's been quite a while! (: Basically - I'm an eighteen year old girl living with her lovely boyfriend Andrew and our dog, Duke. :] I graduated from Utica High School in 2007 and moved out shortly after. I've been a manager with McDonald's for roughly three months now, and it's okay. :/ I really like helping people though, so if you guys have any questions - guys or girls, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to help you out. I really love to listen, to laugh and to love!

advice

Hello,
My son is 15 and he's always been a ''rebel''.
Me and my husband are relaxed with him, so if he wants piercings, we let him get them...but we defenetly don't let him drink or smoke.
The other day I found out that he had been having sex with his two year girlfriend. It isn't like our family believes in ''no sex before marriage'' but it was kind of shocking to me because I always though that he would wait until he was (at least) 16.
He has been out a lot lately and yesterday he came home with an eyebrow piercing. I am not against piercings at all, in fact, I love them, but he didn't even tell me that he was going to get one.

It seems to me that he's not communicating with us anymore, and he sent me a text this morning, asking whether he could go get drunk with some friends. Now, I am defenetly against drinking...but I know he will do it anyway, even if I say no!
He smokes ''socially'' as he told me, I don't approve but I cannot do anything about it. He's always been a popular boy, but I want to know how I can make him talk to us more, trust us and also, not get drunk whenever he goes out!
What do you think I should be doing?
What are some punishments I could use?
And just advice how I could feel better?


Thank you.

PS! He gets mostly A's in school, some B's and he doesn't spend his time at home on the computer or playing video games...or watching TV. He spends his free time at home playing guitar, writing songs for his band and so on...so he's not a lousy student.

First off all - Your kid is his own person OBVIOUSLY so you're right. Even if you told him not to get drunk, he'd do it anyway. A good way to have him trust you is to say things like "You know that I don't approve of you drinking, but I know you're going to do it anyways. Please just have a designated driver and be safe." Something like that so he knows you're not trying to get too nosey or "mom-ish" but at the same time, he'll know he can come to you with things and know you're not going to freak out.

As for the sex - Simply tell him to use protection.



:]

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