hello everyone. first, thanks to everyone for the great ratings and feedback. i truly appreciate it. i love to help, in whatever way i can, and i like to think i can offer a unique opinion on issues, whatever they may be. feel free to ask me anything, i will try my best to give you the best answer i can. peace out.
E-mail: tiffanyblair@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Truro, Nova Scotia
Age: 22
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Member Since: July 12, 2006
Answers: 35
Last Update: August 2, 2006
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I am 51 years old and have an older brother, two older sisters, and a younger brother that is forty years old now. The problem is that all of us siblings except the youngest brother feel so unloved and hurt. The problem is that our mother wrote a will about five years ago and only mentioned our youngest brother in it. She left everything that she owned to him. He knows that she has done this and thinks that it is all okay. We have ALL been respectful and good children to our parents. The rest of us siblings feel hurt by both our parents and or brother. It is not even about money or things but about fairness. Me and my sister that lives next door to me do all of the duties for our parents. They both do not drive now. In the last week and a half we decided to let the chosen one (youngest brother)do everything that we have been taking care of for years. Both she and I feel sick about our family being torn apart because of this. Am I being unreasonable or wrong by doing this? Your advise sure would help us. (link)
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I understand your feelings, and how upset you must be. It was wrong of your mother to do that, but I'm sure she had her reasons, whatever they might be. Your best bet is to ask her why she did it, the answer might surprise you. Mothers tend to hold special places in their hearts for their youngest children, their "babies", if you will. It doesn't mean she loves her other children any less, and it doesn't make it right. Your pain is understandable, and I think you are justified in allowing your younger brother to take care of your parents the way that you have been. No matter what the reasons are, and no matter what happens, don't let it tear your family apart. They're the only ones who will be there for you all the time, no matter what. Family is the most important thing, and no matter what she's done, or how she's hurt you, your mother is your mother, and you've got to remember that she does love you, even though it seems like she doesn't love you as much as she loves your brother. Again, if I were you, I'd ask her what her reasons are for doing this. Maybe she is just trying to make sure your brother is taken care of, if he hasn't been helping care for your parents, maybe he's not as responsible. Your mother might think that he needs more help, and that the rest of you are going to be fine. You'll never know unless you ask her, and I really think you should. I hope I helped, and I wish you the best of luck. Thanks for the question!
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Okay. I am 14 and I'm a female. Also I'm adopted. I really hate where I ended up and i really don't like my adopted parents. I was 12 when i was adopted (about 3 years ago). They told me then I didn't have an option about being adopted, they told me i had to be or go back to foster care. Okay the point is I really hate being adopted to them. It has been ruining my life. Also i really hate being seen in public with them, even before adoption i didn't like her. She was my 4th grade teacher and they made me be adopted to her. She's about 54 and her husband is 60, and her dad is 95.I live with them all. None of them even understand me, and another problem is that their really old. they are really disgusting and i can't even stand being in the same room as them. And since i was adopted i've been an only child for the first time of my life and i hate that part the most. I'm really loney every day and no one to talk to. I know for fact i would be better off some where else. i really want to live with my mom again. Kyle and i was taken away from my mom and dad when i was 8 and i was in foster care. mom and dad divorced and kyle was moved to another home. i stayed in the same place for 4 years, i liked it there. Someday i wish it could be my mom and i together again, if that were so i would be really happy. Now i am the only person i have, no one else cares. not even my adopted parents, they don't even respect who i am or who i would like to be some day. When i lived with my real parents my dad abused kyle and i and my mom was good person, she the nicest person i ever knew. My brother Kyle is special ed. and i worry about how he is doing in foster care. i aslo worry about my mom, she's lonely like me... sometimes i wish i could win alot of money and live with my mom in a nice house. i know that i have only about 4 years till i move out, but thats alot of time when you're a teen and i don't want to put my life off because the law forced be to be adopted and depressed. But i'm not that bad off, i make all a's and do weel in school. i play soccer. it's really hard for me to make friends, and i don't know why, before i was adopted i had lots of them. also it's really hard for me to have a boyfriend, all the guys that end up liking me.. i turn away from them. it's really hard for me. it seems that i've been away from people so long( being an olny child in all) i don't know how to be me in front of people. and it makes me really nervous. i have really good friends at church and all. When i'm around them i do fine but when they're not there, i don't know how to act. i'm also affraid to tell people what's wrong. every time they ask i lie and say i'm doing fine just so they can go away. iam really, really not happy. i am also sorry about not writing this all in order, anyway please give me advice. I really need some, noone i know seems to care about how i feel. So please help.
love,
depression of adoption.
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hi honey
i'm 22, and past the puberty/teen angst thing, but we have a lot in common. i was adopted too..my sister and i were adopted by our maternal grandparents. if we hadn't been, we would have been taken from our biological parents too. our dad was abusive, and so was our mom, but i really can't remember that. i can't totally relate to your situation, but i think i understand some of what you feel. i always wondered why our parents didn't want us enough to take care of us, and why they had to hurt us. when you're adopted, and you can remember it, you always wonder about your birth parents. where they are, what they're doing..etc. but you shouldn't torture yourself over it. i understand that you want to live with your mother, but if she wanted the same thing, she'd be with you. youngrandma gave you some great advice. you need to focus on the positive in your life...you're healthy, you do have a great support system around you..and you're intelligent, atletic, and accomplished. don't focus on wanting to be with your mother, it's her loss! you are a valuable person, and you are wanted. talk to your family about what you said, maybe show them the question (minus the part when you called them disgusting) and you wait and see what they do. don't keep all of the anguish you feel to yourself anymore. it's not healthy, and it feels really really good when you ease that burden. good luck, and remember...none of what happened to your family was your fault. :)
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