ask Martini_Kiss

Description: 24y/o Female, Mother, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Honest, curious, spontaneous, bored, happy, thoughtful.

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E-mail: pinkchampagne81@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home-Maker
Age: 25
AIM: PinkChampagne81
Member Since: May 3, 2005
Answers: 55
Last Update: July 6, 2006
Visitors: 6118

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OrionsFire

Myself and my fiance are 26 and I have a 2 1/2 year old from a previous relationship. We have been together for 1 1/2 years and engaged for 1. Last week my fiance had a couple of friends that were looking for an apartment to live in. They are supposed to be moving into the ones where we live. Without asking me, Josh invited them to stay with us until their apartment is ready. It has been almost a week now since they came to stay. It made me really angry that he did not ask me if I cared if they stayed, he just invited them and told me they were staying. I'm upset because I am the one paying all the bills right now because he just finished college and has not found a job yet. Our apartment is really small and was cramped with just our stuff in it. Now our dining room is stuffed with their things and they have taken over our living room too. We only have a couch in our living room because it it tiny. At night after I get home from work I like to make dinner then lay around and watch TV for a while before I go to bed. Since they have been there I don't get to sit on the couch or watch TV. I have been coming home and going to my room to read. Josh gets upset with me because I don't want to sit out there with our "company". I wouldn't mind hanging out with everyone, but when I do sit in my living room I either have to sit on the floor or pull a chair from my dining room to sit on. I feel like my son is getting shorted by them being there too. He is used to having free roam of the house and playing where ever he wants to in the apartment. Now he is confined to his room and can not play anywhere else and when he tries to he gets into trouble for getting into their stuff. Then over the weekend we had a birthday party to go to for my grandmother. I made it clear to Josh the night before that I did not want them in the house while we were gone. When we got ready to leave the next day Josh handed them his keys so they could come and go as they please. It's like my thoughts and opinions don't count anymore. Then when I try to explain to him how I'm feeling he gets angry with me and thinks I'm being rude to them. I like my personal space and I hate it when I don't have it. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Josh thinks I'm too controlling on things like this, but I'm tired of being stepped on and used. How can I make him see my point of view before I just get angry with the situation and just kick all 3 of them out so it's just me and my son again? _(link)

If you guys are getting married, it's important that you have open communication. No marriage can survive without it. Which includes him ASKING if these people can stay there for awhile while getting situated.

You need to sit down with him, and talk with him about the situation calmly and clearly, ask him how much longer they are staying and make sure that the "guests" know that they should be out by such and such date. Point out everything that you just pointed out here that is causing this "help" to be more of an inconveince.

It's one thing to help friends but if your not careful they will soon take advantage of that, and think they have an unlimited stay at your place.

Your right, your child should be able to roam around his own house.. reguardless of their stuff.. and you should be able to come home after a long days work and relax. There is NO way my husband would ever invite someone here to stay without talking to me first.. if he doesn't see your point? Invite a friend in to stay a few days.. see how he likes not being asked and inconveinced even furthermore. ^^

Hope you get peace and quiet soon.

Ok.. well my mom works for social services. and she got this job when i was in third grade (i'm currentlly in 8th) and ever since then shes been SO overprotective. She doesn't like for me to do things without her knowing every single detail. She's takin the lock off my bedroom door. so that she can walk in at any given moment just to see what i'm doing. And it's getting worse every day. Even when i was in 3rd grade i didn't have a 'bed time' but now she's making me go to bed at 9 oclock. it's getting really bad. i'm getting ready to be in high school and i still have a bedtime. i feel like such a child because i never get to do anything. And i've tried talking to her. And i've told her that i think she is to protective. Yet nothing ever changes. What should i do?
14/f _(link)

First, I had a bedtime till I graduated. 10 'o clock every night.. in the house by 9... friends gone also at 9.

I was allowed no lock on my door.. no boys in my room.. and couldn't even "go on a date" till I was 16.

Your mother just cares about you, and seeing what she does at her job.. makes her worry about you even more. She knows that even the saftest homes things can happen to children and is just looking out for you.

Your only 14.. show her your responsible.. ask for a cell phone, and agree to call her every hour or so to "check" in when your out at friends, or at someone's house..

Make sure to be home by curfew, and show no gruff telling her where you'll be what you'll be doing, and who will be there..

If you show her you can follow her rules, and can make plans, sticking to them not accidentally going "somewhere" else.. then eventually she'll give you more freedom..

Part of of being young is that your mother can control your life till your 18.. so make the best of it.. and know she's only doing it cause she loves you.

My mom won't let my peirce my belly, and i have wanted it for two years now. I have tryed to convince her that i want it done but she still says no! Any ideas? Please help asap!!!!! _(link)

If your parents are adamant about you not getting it done.. then chances are there's nothing you can say.

Wait till your 18.. and do what you want when your on your own.. paying your own bills.. and doing what you want.. when you can afford it yourself.

Just a simple tip too.. it's called a "naval" piercing.

My mom is the biggest blabbermouth of all time. She can't keep her secrets to herself. She can't keep MY secrets to herself. She tells everyone the details about my life. She humiliates me infront of everyone. She makes up lies to exaggerate the truth. I really don't know what to do. Should I just stop telling her things? I can't stand the way my life is out there and availible to anyone that wants to hear about it. _(link)

I'd do my best to not talk to her. Not tell her anything that you wouldn't want others knowing. It's not fair to you that she feels the need to share everything, but since you know she does.. you just have to watch what you say to her.

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