I am a 26-year-old wife and mother of two. I may be young but I have a well-rounded variety of life experiences. Some of that includes dealing with blended families, in-laws, parenting, and strange dreams. There are other topics I have a broad base of knowledge in and I will typically lean towards those more than others. They happen to be my favorite categories.
If you ask a question, the typical response time is within 24 hours.
**Please note that I am not a certified counselor. I am just an average lady who wishes to give you an honest opinion.**
Gender: Female
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Age: 26
Member Since: November 18, 2006
Answers: 35
Last Update: April 2, 2007
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Ok, about my dad coming for thanksgiving, i left this part out on my other advice thing. My cousins are coming and i want to play with them but if my dad is here and i know he will feel awkward, then i have to talk to him and i cant just go off and leave him and my step mom because the only reason they are coming is because me and my brother so i cant just leave them. What if i want to go play with my cousins and then my dad feels awkward? please help. (link)
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Being that your mom and step-dad are going to be there, your dad is likely to experience a few awkward moments whether or not you spend one-on-one time with him. He knows this and decided to come anyway. I'm thinking you will be just as awkward seeing the adults together. Don't worry, your parents and step-parents should know how to behave themselves and can get along fine when you are playing with your cousins.
Your dad will probably just be glad to say he spent the day there, even if he doesn't spend the entire day with you. To a parent, it is enough just to be in the same place at the same time. You don't need to be by his side and he will not be angry with you if you are not. He will understand that you want to spend time with kids your age.
Greet him well when he arrives and thank him for coming. :)
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I have a brother who is in college. He is 3 years older than me. We used to be really close, but now he has a girlfriend and I barely get to see him anymore. We used to talk like all night but now all he wants to do is hang out with her. On my birthday we went on vacation and he didnt say happy birthday or anything but the first thing he did was buy his girlfriend a present. Now whenever I see them I just start acting really mean and stuff. I dont mean to, but I just get mad because I used to be able to talk to him so easily. I know im just jealous, but I really wish I could spend more time with him. Is there any way for me to get over my jealousy? Im worried his gf thinks im really rude and stuff. But I honestly dont mean to act that way. Please help!!! (link)
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First and foremost, apologize, to both of them, for your past bad behavior. It will show that you are ready to work on making things right. It is not the girl's fault your brother spends his time with her, it is his choice after all. Don't displace your anger for your brother onto her shoulders.
This can be a very confusing time for a little sister when an older sibling 'outgrows' the relationship.
It is okay to feel a little rejected, but one thing to remember here is that he is not doing it to deliberately hurt you, so try not to take it so personally. As the two of you get older, your lives will change and you will naturally want more time away from each other. Eventually you will also find somebody and will want to start 'settling down' and make a new life for yourself.
For now, he is spending time with somebody new, somebody he cares for very much. He may not mean to be distancing himself from you, but, in a way, it is necessary for him to be able to build up his relationship with this girl, especially if he is 'serious' about her.
If you miss him, invite him (or both of them) over to your house or out to lunch or dinner once in a while. Keep communicating with him. Even if he stops dating this girl, his relationship with you will never be the same as it was when you were younger. This is because you are both 'growing up'.
It is OK to be angry with him for forgetting your birthday and for inadvertently slighting you (I honestly don't think he did it intentionally to hurt you), but it is also OK to forgive him.
It is NEVER OK to use that anger as a tool against him or his girlfriend, or to try to manipulate him to be somebody he is not anymore. You can still be friends with him and even close to him, but try to remember that your relationship with him has evolved now, and if you can accept it and make the most of it, then you two will have a healthy sibling friendship for many years to come.
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Well over this past summer, i walked in a lot on my dad watching porn and using a webcam.. wouldnt a webcam be considered cheeting for the most part? Anyways, he's always at work, and he's always at meetings. After i had accidently wakled in on him this summer and gone through the thoughts of omg he might be cheeting on my mom what do i do, he completely changed for awhile. He acted soooooooo soo weird, it was scary. I could honestly say i didnt feel safe around him and i felt like he was hiding something. Well anyways, my mom works nights.. and like 97% of the time those are the nights my dad has outta town meetings. Every year he has a work christmas party and usually the spouses and sometimes family go too..this year it was just the workers. So he gets home last night from it at 3am, drunk as helll... and this morning, hes acted so weird. im scared, i just dont know what to believe and what not to believe. what should i do... (link)
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If you have a good relationship with your mom, tell her. Focus mainly on how it makes you FEEL and how your Dad's actions are creeping you out. Those are the most important issues here, that you feel insecure around your dad.
Also make sure you have a backup, some other adult you can go to for help, like a guidance counselor or a teacher. If this is causing you emotional distress, then you need to discuss it with somebody. I recommend not going to your dad right now because he has already made you insecure enough to feel 'weirded out'. Talk to him WITH your mom or another adult.
I wish you good luck sweetie.
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