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Q: 19/f
I am 19 and my parents dont really allow me to do much. I feel like a child. My friends all make fun of me for being under such close watch and not being allowed to go places and do things like most 19 or 18 year old do, because i always have to ask my parents and hope that they will permit me to do something... I have no freedom. I've fairly recently gotten in trouble for trying to go out, because I said so, and I was like... its time to stop being controlled by my parents and get out and have some fun.
I had to deceive my parents so that i could do what i wanted to do. I couldn even leave the house without my mom looking out the door to see who was picking me up and to see if they were there yet...etc.... I didnt know my mom was going to follow me to the door, so that foiled my plan. I was going to walk up the road, but my mom was like "no, tell your friend to come pull up infront of the door". And then she saw that it was a male friend and not the female friend i told her it was. I got in a lot of trouble and got yelled at and lectured.. Now my parents say they dont trust me and i cant go anywhere or do anyyything. My friends say "you're 19, you can do what you want....etc."..
I want to know if it would be f***ed up or not if I were to just slip out the house and move one day and not tell my parents anything until I get there. I want to live with a certain guy, but, i mean, when i am ready to move in with him and when i'm sure thats what i want to do. And I will call my parents from my new residence, or better yet text them and be like "umm.... yeah.... i moved..."
They dont even want me meeting with this guy. They dont want me to meet with no guy or do anything. And I am so tired of my parents! I need to get away from them! I'm not going to even bother with introducing them to the guy, because they wont want me with him cuz he's 22 and i told my mom a little bit about him and she's like "you dont need to be with him. you dont need to be with anybody. You need to focus on school and focus on gettin yourself together first (work on myself in terms of anxiety problems etc.)" They just want to keep me as their boyfriend-less child for as long as they possibly can.
And I dont want to bother with telling them i plan on moving out. So do you think it would be messed up if i just moved out, and in with this guy, and just told them about it after the fact? Just so they know what happened to me.. and that way they cant do anything about it
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Yes it will be very messed up if you don't tell your parents you are moving out. They care about you and want what is best for you. Moving out is fine as long as you are really ready, but you need to prepare yourself financially and emotionally so that you won't have to come back home. Being a responsible adult is not about sneaking off. Talk to your parents and let them know what your intentions are and prepare to go. I do not however thik it will be a good idea for you to move in with a guy. Being in that situation would only cause you to rely on him instead of your parents. If things go sour with him you will be in a terrible spot and your parents will be disappointed. Being 19 means that you are old enough to do what you want to, but you need to be responsible when making decisions about your life and where you will be. This CAN NOT be about a guy or it will fail. You have to move out for you, and you alone and put yourself first. If you can not afford to take care of yourself on your own and pay for rent, you are not ready to movw out yet. A roomate is fine b/c it will be equal,but moving in with a guy could turn into a nightmare and since its his place...it will not be equal. Plase consider all of this before making a decision.
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Q: what do you do if your parents accuse you of something you didnt do?
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Be straight with them, looking them in the eye and tell them the truth. If they are hard to convince, be very open with them so that they see you have nothing to hide. You can earn their trust back and these issues should die down. Communication and honesty are key.
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Q: Hey Jamie i don't know if you've ever seen the DL Chronicles but it's a tv series about what Gay and Bi-sexual Men in the closet go thoru.
I was once On the DL - a man with a girl and a dude that she knew nothing of. I realized i was more attracted to men then women however i still dating women to try to convert my self. The only reason was because i was scared of loosing my family, --People tend to trun there back on family members when they don't agree with there way of life..
I've came out and i'm no longer in denial.. But i've lost my father, and the love and attention of my mother.. What do i do to get them back without trying to live a lie?
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Hello,
Your question is one that many have searched for the answer to for a long time and I just hope that I can help in some way. I just have to start by saying that I think that it is a sad truth when anyone should have to lose family or friends because they have chosen what our society calls an "alternate lifestyle". Above all you want to be happy and it would never be right for you to try to live a lie again. You are who you are and you I believe that our individuality is what makes us beautiful creatures. So, don't see living a lie as an option because you can't be happy unless you are being 100% you!! So, what I think you should do is arrange a time where you can sit down with your mother ALONE, WITHOUT THE DISTRACTIONS OF ANY OTHER PERSON OR TECHNOLOGICAL DEVICE. Once you are alone with her talk to her about how you are truly feeling and explain to her that you love her soo much and how difficult life is without her. You need to talk to her alone so that there are no outside forces interrupting or creating unwanted influences where she is concerned. If you feel like crying, then do so, just don't hold back your feelings and try to get her to respond and talk to you. Try and get her to face the treatment you feel you have received from her. Be respectful, but use your time wisely. This is obviously important to you, as it should be, so really make her feel that. Ask her questions and even let her know if you feel that her love for you has diminished in any way. Don't walk away from the conversation with any regrets and things that you wish you had said to her. Hopefully she will receive you since she is your mother and the two of you will have to take it from there. I suggest that you do the exact same thing with your father. I suggest that you talk to them separately though because you don't want them feeding off of each other. Your goal is sincerity, not to possibly be ganged up on or to have opinions swayed. This is really the best advice I could give you on the subject. Talking to them and having them look you in your eyes and tell you why they aren't accepting you for who you are. It really isn't fair and if they want to stand by their wrong decision, make them face you and say it. I'm sorry if I wrote too much, but I have someone very dear to my heart experiencing this very problem and it upsets me at times. I wish you the best of luck.
*~ Jami
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Q: hey heres my problem... my mother is bipolar and she is manic depressive... it doesnt help that she wont take pills to help her. im only 13 and im the only one who lives here with her. i feel so much guilt and hate toward her its unbelievable. i feel so helpless. she has no one but me, so i cant leave her all alone. i would love to know if you could give me some advise on what to do.
thanks for the help,
Kirsten L.
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Bipolar disorder is a real mental illness. With all of the stress you are probably dealing with, I know that you are going through a lot, but just try to remain calm and know that your mother does not wish to be this way. She really can't help it. Since she is ill, you are being put in a position to act as an adult. You need to just stay strong for the both of you and talk to someone that you trust. It always helps to have someone that you can talk to when you are upset or feeling anger towards her. We don't get to choose our situations in life, they kind of just are so you have to face it and maybe you can find out why she doesn't like to take her pills. I can only imagine how difficult it has to be for you, but you have to hang in there and hopefully things will get better.
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bio
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--------------------------------------------------
I believe in telling the truth, so I will be honest with you. I also believe that when it comes to respect...reciprocity is key!
Any question that rests on your head is one worth asking.
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Info
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Gender: Female Member Since: September 15, 2008 Answers: 113 Last Update: September 9, 2010 Visitors: 10718
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