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My mother-in-law is always accusing me of over-reacting to things, when I think my reactions are quite normal. She tells me to calm down when I'm only slightly frustrated about something, and her saying this to me repeatedly causes me to get more frustrated, then she's like "I told you so." For example, today she was giving my daughter a ride to school, and I went along because she was in her p.j's and it was a cold day and she was doing us a favor so I didn't have to walk her to school. Anyways, to get to the point, my daughter had made a suncatcher keyring for her teacher and I knew that I had put it in her backpack. My daughter wanted to show it to her grandmother, so she opened her backpack, and I reached back and got it. I looked in her backpack where I had put it and it wasn't there. So I simply stated "It's not here. I know I put it in here." I wasn't hysterical, just slightly puzzled. My mother-in-law immediately starts saying "Calm down, calm down. It's no big deal," as if I was totally freaking out, which I wasn't, and I kept repeating "It's not here," as I looked because she kept saying "Calm down." She was irritating me, and I told her so, and that I thought she was being rude. She just told me to "Drop it." She acts so smug and superior. My daughter found it in the back of the car, and handed it to me, which my mother-in-law didn't even notice because she was so busy telling me to stop going on about it. I told her she was rude and didn't repect my feelings and that anyone would say the same thing when they were looking for something and it wasn't where they put it. She probably didn't hear half of what I said because she was too busy telling me to shut up. I finally gave up, but I have a hard time dropping a subject when I think someone is unfairly judging me. I was trying to get her to understand my point of view. She is always treating me like this. I'm so sick of it. Does anyone have experience with a person like this? How do you handle it without making it look like the person is right about you? I know this is what I'm doing when I respond to her rudeness. But I don't know how else to handle it. She is hard to ignore. Any advice? (link)
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Mother-in-laws! Aren't they frustrating??!! First of all, the first thing you need to do is get your husbands support. You need to make him understand how she makes you feel. Then, the both of you should make a quiet time with her, with no distractions or children and explain to her how she is making you feel. Let your husband broach the subject first...then she may be more open to hear it.
If that doesn't work...try limiting the amount of time that she is around you..But whatever you do stand your ground!
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