HI!
My name is Tiffany (my friends call me Tipher) and I am a married thirty-smoething with child. (there's 2 bad sitcoms all in one lol). I've been around a little and am ready to answer even the hard quesitons...no poking fun or anything, just my absolute honest opinion and advice.
Gender: Female
Location: Anaheim CA
Occupation: in tansition
Age: 35
Member Since: February 8, 2005
Answers: 28
Last Update: February 14, 2005
Visitors: 5676
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I am a 23 year old mother to an 11 month old son and I am still breastfeeding him. I am slowly introducing him to cow milk but he won't be ready for that full time for a month or 2 or 3, who knows. I love breastfeeding but am just about ready to be done with it even though I will miss being a size 36 C. The only thing I won't miss is going back to an A or B bra. I love the closeness and the bond my son and I share from it, but now it's like he's older so it's more annoying now because he is so clingy to my chest area not just to eat but for comfort. He eats 2-3 meals a day of baby jar foods and he loves little finger foods and he drinks juice but will not drink anything but that and breastmilk. He eats really well, but when he wants to be breastfed he gets so fussy and demanding and he puts on this really moody act wherever I am. I am sick of having to whip out my boob when I am with friends or family now. Not just because of how they look at me like, "you're still breastfeeding him?" but also because I am now annoyed by it, I want my freedom back. The problem is that my boyfriend works 2 jobs, he is on his feet from 6 a.m. until 1 a.m. 4 1/2 days a week and it is really important that he gets his sleep at night. Now we only have a 1 bedroom apartment so I need to keep my son quiet at night, so how do I do that? I breastfeed him all night long. It is hard to put him in his crib and keep him sleeping. I am still waking up with him at all hours of the night like he's a newborn!! Although I love to cuddle with him and wouldn't mind sleeping with him a little here and there I am sick of sleeping with him ALL of the time. I want to stretch out again and sleep for 8 hours at a time, not a 1/2 hour to 4 hours only. We are not getting a 2 bedroom apartment until April 1st, and believe me when that time comes things are so gonna change. But what do I do in the meantime? I can't afford formula, nor does my son like it. I heard something about mixing evaporated milk with organic milk until he is ready for full time cow milk. Does anyone have any suggestions? I want my son to become independent from his mommy's breast now. I'm afraid it is only going to get harder to keep him from wanting it the longer he stays attached. Urgent help, advice and suggestions are wanted A.S.A.P!! Thank you. (link)
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First, I applaud you for making it to 11 months! My daughter outpaced me by 5 weeks! Byebye boobs. BUT...I learned the merits of cereal in her nightime bottle as soon as she was ready. She began to sleep longer each night. Usually start with a tablespoon or two mixed well in the bottle (by this time she was on formula but I also added it to breast milk) and work up to the consistency of a milkshake. It gives their little tummies something to really work on and sticks with them longer than full liquids. You should also try an electric breast pump-much better! The only caution is that once he starts getting teeth, any sugars in a nighttime bottle can be bad for those new teeth.
Next, the clinging. My husband rescued our daughter every night (to let me sleep-I worked) and brought her out to the living room. At two, she was ENTITLED to get up every night and how DARE we not do so! Stop that behavior now before it gains a life of its own! I'm not saying that comfort is bad but it can turn into terminal clinging and problems way down the line. Mine is 4 now and independant as all get out, partly because I didn't give in to the whining and clinging...at least not every time. I also snuggled at odd times throughout the day when she didn't demand it to let her know I am always there.
Finally, just because you are now somebody's mom doesn't mean that you should lose your entire life. Do you have snybody that would babysit for you to get an hour or two of peace? Maybe just to have a long bubblebath or do the grocery shopping unencumbered. Start with somebody he knows and trusts, maybe for an hour or two at first and then work up from there. Being a mom is hard work and we all deserve fome "me time" once in a while. This will aldo help him assert his independance and learn that though you may not be there every second, you will always turn up. You don't need to "cut the apron strings" now, but let them stretch some.
I wish you the greatest luck-it's a rough job but also packed with rewards!
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So my mom and my dad fight constantly and they are kind of alcholics...I always find myself crying myself to sleep and wishing that i had different parents...But neway..one night my dad locked me and my mom out of the house and it was so bad that my mom had to call the police on him....I have never done nething to my dad to make him treat me this way....This may sound horribe but im actually terrified of him...What should i do...please i need advice really bad bcuz this is something that has been bothering me for awhile and i never really had the guts to talk to ppl about it......HELP! (link)
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WOW. That really takes me back to my childhood. I have been there and sometimes I wonder how I got out. The thing is, there is nothing you can really do to change their behavior. Until they see that they need help, they won't seek it. What you need to do now is to try to minimize your part in the household drama. Find someone that you can talk to in order to get that poison out of your system. Allow yourself to see that there is another way for you. Best of all, dig in and don't let it drag you down. Set you sights on a brighter future and grab for it with all you have. It is up to you whether you repeat this cycle or break it. I speak from experience that breaking it is hard but worth the battle. If need be, find a friend or relative that you can stay with every once in a while to give yourself a break. It sounds like you really deserve it. Look into extracirricular activities that you enjoy to keep you out of the house as much as possible. In doing so, you may find an area where you really shine and that is the greatest boost for yourself there is. Hang in there and best of luck.
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hi i have a 3 yearold daughter but latly she been out of control she dont listen she is very bossy she wont potty train she hits throws things around gets into everything what can i do to help with all of this everyone is getting mad cuz she is not potty trained yet ive tryed pottys and the adult toliet but nothing works ive tryed soap and spankings and took her toys away but nothing is working can someone help me
liz (link)
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The most important thing in discipline is consistency. If an item is off limits, it is ALWAYS off limits. The most important thing to remember is not t o let her wear you down. I know htis is hard (believe me-been there, got one) but you have to stick to your guns. And that includes anyone else who cares for her (Daddy, other family, sitters, daycare, etc.) I have found that positive reinforcement is also a good motivating tool. Point out the good things she does and praise them...often. Tell her and show her the difference between good and bad in words she understands. Good deeds reap rewards, bad deeds reap punishment. The potty training thing is a little more tricky. Every toddler is an individual. Mine was walking at 8 months (woe be to the cats!) and had an extraordinary vocabulary that defied "The Books" but didn't potty train until she was 3 1/2. ONce she decided it was time, it took about a week! The point is, she will not do it until she is good and ready and no amount of bribing, punishing, wheedling or cajoling will change that. If it goes on past about 4 or 4 1/2, consult her pediatrician but for now, just sit tight. I promise that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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