I feel really good when I laugh and I love laughing. The problem is that I find almost nothing funny. A lot of people laugh when other people get hurt which is what most "funny videos" on youtube are about. And I honestly don't think they're funny ._. I also don't like most "funny" movies. Can anyone give me some ideas what I can watch? The only person I can think of that makes me laugh is ellen degeneres ._.
Sounds dumb, but, smoke some weed, get high, and watch Family Guy.
No joke.
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I start getting to know someone and once we have a connection and even if I really like them, then at one point I stop trying to talk to them and start avoiding them and abruptly stop talking. and then time goes on and then I feel guilty over not talking to them and then more time goes on and then I feel more guilty but at the same time feel like I can't just start talking like I used to because I think they'd be wondering why I'd stopped communicating with them in the first place. it's like a vicious cycle. I don't have any close friends right now and I hate it because I want to be close to someone and go to parties and movies and etc. and not just be on the computer but then why am I doing this to myself? I feel like I self sabotage myself in so many ways and I don't understand why, when people are supposed to be doing things in their best interests. I've been this way for the past couple of years and it only gets worse and worse. I'm starting college this year and I'm afraid if I'll let this screw things up in college too (with regards to relationships with others and grades)
I've met many people like this, so no worries, it's not just you. I have a milder case of this problem. My guess is that you've built an emotional wall up because you've either gotten hurt or back-stabbed so many times in life. If there isn't a catalyst in your past to trigger this problem, than it's just part of who you are. The best thing you can do is teach yourself to trust. If you're not good at reading people, then it's more difficult to determine who you can and can't trust, but that's the whole deal of making relationships. Relationships are ALWAYS a gamble. Don't be afraid to take risks. Almost every person I've let into my life has let me down, and boy does it hurt. But when I sit there and ponder, it was always their loss, not mine. Trust me, when fate decides to have its way, it'll kick into your brain and your brain will tell you to keep this person in your life. College is a big change and people are different as well. More mature, and more trusting. Your situation will get easier as you meet a bigger diversity of people, even people like yourself. Hakuna matata.
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