about

I'm Katie.
I'll try. =]
Likes: Summer, field hockey, lacrosse, sun, thunderstorms, writing, running, boys, dresses, the red sox, the city of Boston, Europe, flip flops, music, first snow, Dustin Pedroia, tattoos, working, laughing, sarcasm, dogs
Dislikes: Math, getting in trouble, crying in front of people, rude/obnoxious people, people who take life too seriously, jet lag, my family for the most part, human nature


My picture is of the gorgeous Boston skyline because I am absolutely in love with the city. (Red sox =])

Have a nice day!

advice

I know I really should talk to a doctor about this, but I just havent really come to terms with it myself yet. I have these thoughts during the day about my friends, my family, my animals, anyone really. There just these horrible thoughts and I don't know how to stop them. Anyway just like if someone is walking through water that they spilt on the floor or something I get these images in my head where the person would fall and get hurt really bad or die. Really terrible thoughts that I can't control, they just...happen. It makes me feel crazy really, and that definitely scares me. I've never told anyone about this. For one thing they'd probably think i'm crazy or something, and two they'd think of me differently and I really don't want that. I've been really depressed I guess you could say. I mean I don't know if it's depression or not but after reading the symptoms for it and all it really seems like it. I've also been told I might be bipolar, and i've tried to research that but you can't really do a self diagnosis. Anyway my question here is have any of you ever had this problem? Has anyone you've known had this problem? I know I really need to talk to a doctor but I just feel embarassed and uncomfortable talking about it. I don't know how to just say anything. Not to mention the fact that the doctor would tell my parents and i'm just so scared of them looking at me differently.

Unless you talk about plans to hurt yourself or others, your doctor won't tell your parents. I'm almost positive they're not allowed to. I think you need to take care of yourself- if you are depressed or have thoughts that trouble you, you should seek a doctor so they can help you. It's rough going through life so upset and depressed, and this can be prevented.
I know you think your parents will think differently of you, and maybe they will. But I think they would much rather you get help than be upset, wouldn't you? After all, your parents want what's best for you.
It's really good that you recognize that you should talk to someone about what's going on. This is usually the hardest part. The next step is confronting your parents and telling them you want to talk to someone. It's hard and maybe uncomfortable, but just think of how much happier you could be. Everyone deserves to be happy, and I just think you need a little help getting there.
good luck =]

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I used to be a happy, carefree girl always with a smile on my face. Now? I constantly worry about what people think of me, I abuse my body by calling myself fat and ugly, I've lost my 'spark' in my personality, and I'm hard to be around because I've become sensitive to small things like harmless jokes that I take too personally.

I over analyze my every thought and statement which usually leaves me saying something awkward. Has this sudden, dark change happened to you before? Or, any idea on how to become a little more carefree and get back to my old happy self?

17, desperate female, lol.

This "dark change" doesn't sound too good, does it? It's tough to go through life like this, and I went through the same thing. For me, events occured to make me act this way; it didn't just occur by itself. Did anything happen to you that made you lose confidence in yourself? Like friend or family issues? Sometimes recognizing the cause of your actions can help you overcome them.
I would also ask yourself if it has anything to do with your mental state. You could be depressed or suffer from anxiety (believe it or not, this is fairly common, so don't feel as though it's abnormal. It can be treated). I'm certainly not saying that you do suffer from these issues, but it's a possibility and you can get help.
As for becoming more carefree, that's kind of how you handle situations. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and think about what's going on before you act about something. Not everyone's judging you or making fun of you, and you have to be conscious of that while you're out with other people. You need to relax and let yourself breathe a bit, life's not that bad.
good luck, i truly hope things start looking up for you. =]

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