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15/f. I apologize, this is really long.

Well, I'm beginning (and have already BEEN) to be VERY depressed. And I mean, sometimes for no reason at all. I can't talk to ANYONE. My parents don't understand...and tell me "Oh...don't be ridiculous...there is nothing wrong with you. Everyone passes through this stage". etc. It's driving me nuts. There is too much pressure from school (having to get straight A's or else my parents will EXPLODE), I HATE my friends. They haven't ever done ANYTHING for me. NEVER. They never.......care. :( When I look at them...I see FAKE USERS. They talk crap behind me...which I can prove. I've been cutting myself...and I can't stop. I have NO ONE to talk to and no one to confide in. I don't know if I have some kind of mental illness...but I feel so freaking ALONE in this world. So very lonely. NOBODY and NOTHING ..(LOL) understands me. I feel like an outcast. I'm constantly judged by everything. music tastes, clothes, grades etc. I'm so different. ARGH. I want a therapist and I was wondering (after writing such a long paragraph) if I'm in need of one. :/ Any suggestions? Do therapists actually help? Thanks in advance.

A therapist can be a good idea for some people, but for others it just doesn't work. it depends on your view on explaining yourself to a stranger. it can be a plus because they know nothing about you or your life to begin with, so there is no way they can judge you on the things you feel insecure about. On the other hand, if someone is having a hard time telling their feelings to the people they care about/trust the most, they figure, why all of a sudden pour my emotions onto some random person who doesnt know me and hasn't been a part of my life to understand it? you have to decide which is more of your thinking process. If therapy doesn't sound appealing, try getting your words out to yourself rather than someone or something else- meaning writing. you can reveal the weirdest things about yourself with just a pen and paper, and taking all of this conciousness off of your shoulders will make you feel so much more at ease. free writing is great because it doesn't involve you to think- just completely let go and let your pen do the work. and there is no pressure in this because it doesn't have to be perfect, either. then maybe it will be easier for you to explain your view to your parents or develop better, trusting friendships with new people. I hope you know that things like these don't change overnight, and that your patience will subconciously get you through this. you just need to try to be open minded about everything! when you have nothing (which even if you believe it, it is DEFINITELY not true) there is nothing to lose. things can only get better! :] you can IM me at amandaaxoox if you need anything, i'll be happy to talk! hope i've helped

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