about

I'm 16 years old and I'm a Christian. I love to give advice and help people. I'm definitely not perfect and sometimes i need advice as well. I'm a Cheerleader at my high school and my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. He recently graduated and moved to Florida :-(. Well, that's a little bit of info about me! Feel free to ask me any questions!

advice

For along time now I have had scary thoughts. Thoughts that someone is going to kill me in my sleep. I always have thoughts of my sister or family member doing this. I also have thoughts of killing myself, I even go through the cabinets and pour some pills into ziploc bags and hide them in my room just in case I feel the need to overdose. Sometimes I get in crazy moods and can't control them and I am afraid I am going to do something I know I normally wouldn't do. I am like a different person when I am depressed and in a different mood. It's like I have a split personality or something. I don't know what is wrong with me, and I have this urge to always pull my eyebrows out. It feels so good to feel the hair slip from my skin. I get into a trance and can't stop pulling, afterwards I feel so guilty but while I am doing i its all I am focused on. Each hair I feel represents a problem in my life. And when they come out it feels for a moment I am free of worries. Is it strange to feel this way, to love to feel pain?

I think maybe you should talk to someone about this. It doesn't sound like this is something that will just go away. I would suggest talking to a school guidance counselor or your parents or a very close friend. Maybe keeping a journal of your thoughts and the things that you do when you're in a different mood. Get rid of the pills in the ziploc bags and tell someone if you feel like killing yourself. Call up a friend just to talk (not about what you're thinking of doing if you dont want to) just to keep your mind off it and distract yourself. I don't know what else to say, but I hope you find and answer you're looking for.

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I could probably answer my own advice, but I want someone else's opinion.It started 3 years ago when I was 16. After my boyfriend and I broke up I started downing myself alot. I felt I let the situation go out of control and I had always since my childhood let others get the best of me and control me, I think around the time my boyfriend and I broke up I developed my eating disorder. I have also had other problems like with cutting, trichillomania, anxiety, and depression. I am like a VERY nervous person and it's hard to control my moods and all. Everyday is a struggle to be perfect sometimes i just wish i could cure this disorder and move on and know that being thin isnt everything, but when I see someone thinner than me or someone on tv I am triggered and feel so bad whenever I do eat. I will literally starve for 5 days, then binge the next two days and then starve again then binge and purge and the cycle continues. My question is I feel worthless and like I have lost all hope on getting better, my boyfriend that I broke up with 3 years ago well we are back together and he knows about me being bulimic and anorexic, he yells at me because he hates that I do that to myself and he has even said 'you either choose me or the disorder.' he doesnt understand, i love him so much and i would do anything for him but i cant stop doing this too myself, it is so much in my head to stop. He always says Im too skinny but never really tried to help me, sometimes he even makes negative comments to me even when he knows that makes it worse. What can I say to make him understand? Its so awkward that he knows my biggest secret.

Maybe the next time he says something to you about your disorders say back to him that you dont need his comments on what you're going through.. you just need his support to get better. Tell him how you feel about the things that he says because if you don't tell him, then he'll never know. I also think you need to keep in mind that NO ONE is perfect. Everyone has their own flaws and insecurities. When you hang out with people, watch how they act and try to find out what they're insecure about( don't say anything out loud though! lol). That might make you realize that you dont need to feel guilty about not feeling perfect. Be confident with what god has given you because you cant change who you are. I really hope things get better for you! :-*

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hey..i was just wondering i know dislexia is like a disorder with numbers b/c my mom has it, but i was wondering whenever i see llike a phone number or something and i try to say the numbers out loud they come out all out off order. like they are the same numbers but in a different order, even whem im like looking right at it. is that any form of dislexia? thanks for your help!!
*~jemmy~*

that may be a form of dislexia, you may want to get it checked by a professional

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