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Q: F/16
I've always been a kind of careless person, kind of selfish, and always angry inside. I really don't know why and recently, I've hit a change and I know for a fact that I've matured, somewhat, anyway. However, I'm still extremely careless. In fact, I care less than I used to. I don't care if I don't graduate, I don't care if people hate me, I don't care if I'm in danger, I don't care about the people around me. I don't even care if I die, but don't get me wrong, I don't WANT to die. Is this normal for someone my age or is there something wrong with me personally? Not much as happened since I matured, I just lost all my friends, but they really weren't my friends now that I think about it. Mostly peer pressure went on with them, so I just drifted away and now I find myself on the computer most of the time. If I find myself in a social situation, I don't chatter anymore and now I just sit there quietly, definitely listening, but not knowing what to say. I feel like everyone around me is a stranger. I don't really care that I'm lonely either, in fact, it feels kind of nice because I feel like there are no problems around me, but then when I'm at school or at the mall, I suddenly feel uncomfortable and kind of sick. And I get so nervous, that my tourettes go from mild to annoyingly serious. The only people I have real contact with is my boyfriend, who's younger than me, and very good friend of mine that I managed to keep, but she lives at least two hours a day and I don't wanna ruin her social life by randomly driving up there to say hi. Not to mention, I think her mom is annoyed that I'm not all that social since she seems to make faces whenever I say something quietly. I don't know if this normal or not, basically, is what I'm asking and if there's maybe something I can do to change this? Or should I just let it be?
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A year ago this seems like what I was like myself. I'm 17 and when I was 16 I had the same problem (however it was just because I was generally not social and lost all my 'friends'. However, instead of the not caring attitude I had then, I find myself in the same situation now however I have a different attitude about it. I believe that having a boyfriend and a friend is all you need (even if you are not THAT close to them), just as long as you feel you could rely on them. Do you have any hobbies? If so, then I think that you should spend your time doing something that you love to do, or if you don't care about any activities then try and give one a go that you think you will enjoy (reading, drawing etc). In social occasions where you are with other people, it is hard but try to make an effort with people, and they will try and make an effort with you (i know you said that you don't care that you don't have friends and that you prefer it, however, it could help when it comes to the 'not caring' side of you towards your life). Just because your previous friends didn't turn out to be good ones, doesn't mean that you wont find people who will actually care about you and remain your friend through thick and thin. In a way there is nothing wrong with having the 'not caring' attitude, however not to the extreme that you have got. The only advice I can give is to believe in yourself and your life. There are many people out there less fortunate who would love to have your life, so make the most of it while you can, even when at first it is difficult and it is up to you now what your next step is. I'm sure that in a year your life will seemed to have turned around for you and you will have a better time.
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bio
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If you have any problems/worries no matter what topic, I will do my best to give you pure honest, helpful advice, most of the time coming from experience.
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Info
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Gender: Female MSN: gemma_dumbill@hotmail.co.uk Member Since: June 4, 2011 Answers: 12 Last Update: July 11, 2012 Visitors: 2385
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