This is me, just helping you out the best I can, no judging and if you need to ask, I'll do my best to answer! Life is full of all sorts of problems and confusion, so why not be able to turn to someone for help? I'm all in for deep questions and will take them seriously. So now you know- ask away!
Member Since: October 24, 2013
Answers: 4
Last Update: November 26, 2013
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F/20
2013 has been a challenging year for me. It started out with my mother getting diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and lymphnode cancer. Even now she still might not make it. Each day I worry if she is okay and each treatment she has puts me in a state of fear not knowing if she can overcome the effects. Another weight is the guilt I have for getting an abortion earlier this year weighing on me. I know it was right but it still hurts. Now, Friday night my boyfriend picks me up from work and is quiet the whole way home. Doesn't say anything but rubs my leg and smiles at me sadly. We get home and he tells me my mother called and wants to speak with me. She tells me my grandfather is in kidney failure and will not make it to Thanksgiving. I finally broke and cried uncontrollably. I wanted to tell my boyfriend the pain I am feeling. I feel empty and alone. Sometimes when I can't handle it I close my eyes and pretend to disappear or don't exist. Sometimes when it is really quiet at home I lay down and close my eyes and zone out my mind until I stop thinking and feel like I am just floating Away from my worries. I feel alone like there is no one there who truly cares whether or not I am happy. My boyfriend is there for me but he isn't very emotionally connected. He will hold me while I cry but he never says much back or looks sympathetic. I try to be strong but somedays I feel like there is little keeping me here. I just don't know what to do anymore I just want to feel okay and stop feeling like I want to vanish. Is this depression? Or stress? Why do I feel so lonely? (link)
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It's normal to feel this way, first off. More has happened to you in less than a year than one can imagine. I think your biggest problem is loneliness, and you feel that no one is there to support you, especially your boyfriend. Tell him how you feel and let him know how detrimental this is for your situation. In terms of you being depressed, the best way to find that out is to immediately consult with a phycologist right away especially in the case you are feeling the want to "vanish" such as you said. A phycologist will also help you manage your stress and stop reliving your bad moments to the point that it becomes unbearable. As a personal less costly remedy from me would also just stop obsessing! As you said, the decisions you've made where the right thing, which means it is time to move on. Make some friends, go out on a fun date with your boyfriend, get hooked on a good tv series or book, anything to distract your mind and just let go. What's done is done. None of what has happened to you is your fault, and I'm sure your mother would be a lot happier if she saw that her health wasn't affecting your mental health. And if you really feel you have no one to turn to, just contact me in my coloum at AspiMisfit and I'll answer back:) good luck and much love I really hope that helped!
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I'm thirteen and female. I have felt rather confused about who I am lately.
I'm going to start with the fact that I just can't stand to look like a girl. When I look in the mirror, I dislike what I see. It's almost like I'm looking at a stranger. I mean, what I see on the outside doesn't really match who I am on the inside.
I want to cut my hair short, but my parents would never let me, so a lot of times I have to hide my hair with the hood of my sweater. And I wear clothes from the guys' section because it makes me feel more like my true self.
If I am going to a formal event and my mom makes me wear a dress, it feels extremely wrong, and I get upset about it.
When I see guys, I sometimes get jealous that I'm not one of them. And if someone refers to me as a "girl" or a "lady," I get frustrated about it and feel depressed. I get upset that they think they know who I really am, and I wish I could be referred to as a guy instead.
And once someone thought I was a guy and not a girl, and it made me really happy.
What is making me feel like this? I'm just so confused. But then I'm only thirteen, and I guess I'm going to change a lot before I'm an adult. But this is bothering me so much and making me feel depressed, and I can't stop thinking about it.
If you have any advice, I would really appreciate it. And please don't judge me. I'm already insecure enough. . . . (link)
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What you seem to be dealing with is how you see yourself, boy or girl. I can think of two main reasons of why you're feeling this way. 1) you are growing up, and espsecially around your age people may begin to wonder about their identity as a women or man, gay or straight, and really just who they are as a person. This is just growing and maturing, don't feel depressed! As you mature you'll learn more about yourself and others, to help you figure out these questions you currently have. It may sound like total bull, but you have years ahead of you to experience life and who you are as an individual just making their way through the world like billions of other people. 2) quite possibly, you may be lesbian or wish to be transgender. If you don't know what that means, being a lesbian (or gay) is falling in love with the same gender. Transgender means you feel as if you are a boy trapped in a girls body, or vis versa, and want surgery to turn you physically into a boy or girl. If this is the case you may have a long journey ahead of you, because many disagree with being gay or transgender, quite possibly even your own parents. BUT, this in NO WAY means you shouldn't discuss this with them. If you truly feel as if you're a boy trapped in a girls body, or maybe feel at all attracted to girls, tell them! Your parents are their for you and if you feel confused and deppressed about this, they will be the first to help. Please, if you would like to discuss more about this with me, simply write in my coloum and I'll reply back ASAP. All These things are completely natural. Remember, talk to your parents pronto about it, they should understand. Good luck and apologies for the ultra long response!
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