Friendship,love and fitness/health are my specialities! Gimme a try!!
Member Since: February 24, 2004
Answers: 19
Last Update: March 5, 2004
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i have 2 or 3 girls that i want to date, but all of them send me mixed signals. i'm looking for a real relationship, not for another peice of a**.
does any 17-18 year old female have advice? that girls are between that age group ( 17-18 ). (link)
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Ask each of them out-and other girls too. You'll get answers. Mixed signals generally mean NO-but you won't know unless you try. And sometimes when you start dating-the others get interested-it gets their attention. So does having hobbies and other interests. Start asking these and other girls out because girls like the guy to make the first move,it'll build courage AND you'll get your answers and maybe even a girlfriend-Insight2020-
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A guy I know asked me out a week ago, and I refused, nicely. I thought it was all over... Until his younger sister came up to me, and asked if it was true that I'm dating her brother. I told her that I wasn't, and I that I like someone else. She said that her brother told a bunch of people that we're dating! I didn't beleive it at first, but by the end of that day, 5 other people asked if it was true! He's spreading all these false lies about me, saying that we went to the movies & made out... Well, here's the scoop: I went to the movies, but not with him. I saw him there, and he sat behind me. I touched his arm when I was walking outta the theater, I never kissed him, let alone make out with him! What should I do? (link)
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If you cannot just let this pass, and it will,let this guy know in no uncertain terms that "it is NOT alright" what he's doing-I'd say make it public, to the point and in front of others since he's dragged your good reputation around a bit.(NOT in front of your current boyfriend tho')You must pick the time, like grab him in the hall at school or something. He's likely PO'd because you turned him down. I rarely tell anyone to do this,and often its best to take someone aside, but this guy wants that because he wants to get you alone. His crush on you is innocent, I'm sure but,hey-spreading gossip is NOT okay. It IS okay to stand up for yourself. Insight2020
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I know this guy that likes me, but I don't feel the same way. I've *nicely* turned him down, probably 3 times. But, he still keeps asking me out! He's asked for my phone number a bunch of times, and I've always refused, because A) My mom hates it when guys call my house & B) I'd only give my phone number to my boyfriend (if I had one). I feel soooo bad for this guy, but I'd never go out with him.. It's all so confusing! (link)
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There's no way to let someone down easy. Best you tell him you're flattered yet not interested in dating him. DOn't argue the point,just be clear. Its HONEST and NONCOMMITTAL in that you're not promising him dates or friendship or anything if you don't want to. If you continue "feeling sorry" for others, you'll have lots of unwanted "baggage" in your life. Being honest gives you and him, or whomever, to grow up and move on. And it lets him save face. Wouldn't YOU appreciate being treated that way?? ANyway, if he persists, be a "broken record" with one lyric-"NO"-Insight2020
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I am a 21 year old female and I have been with my 26 year old boyfriend for 4 years now. We are in love (at least I think he is still in love with me.) In four years he has done more for than anyone would do for just a 'girlfriend'. I love him more than anything in the world but last year I was supposed to move in with him but the day before he told me we shouldn't which left with another year lease at my apartment. Now we are supposed to move in together this fall. Im wondering if he will change his mind again. If he does should I break it off? Another thing is that I am ready to get married and him being 26 should at least start thinking about it. He keeps telling me to be patient. But how long am i supposed to wait? I don't want to be unmarried forever. Please help. (link)
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I know, from experience, that its tempting for some of us to let others take over our lives and decisions. In the(approximate) words of Dr. Phil,"we teach others how to treat us". You are teaching this guy that its OK to wait, to change his mind, come and go at his leisure. His "violations" likely will worsen if you don't take some action and set some boundaries. Its not too late.. There are ways to gain back some of that personal power you're giving away,ways to retrain this guy. Think about it. What advice you give your very best friend if she came to you with this issue? Breaking it off is an option,but lets not be quite so hasty. Let him know that YOU have been thinking about it, and decided that YOU want YOUR OWN space until you're in a committed relationship with someone(and SAY someone) Follow through NO MATTER WHAT YOU FEEL, or HE SAYS and so on. Keep what you say short and to the point and DO NOT ARGUE!! YOU MUST START STANDING YOUR GROUND-and this is achieve thru talk and made clear thru ACTION! I know its scary and a risk, but this is the way you'll become a stronger person and find out if this guy is serious and worth any more of your precious time. Look at the ways guys act. They're mostly ACTION.. This is their "language". Give guys "guyspeak"-ACTION. You are young,however, you do not have time to waste(at any age) on insincere people. Be brave-follow through-take ACTION-then, let me know what happens-Insight2020
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Ever since I was little I couldn't talk to people I didn't know. When I became older, I started having the same problem with girls. I had a few girlfriends early in high school, but they asked me. They weren't really my type either. They always wanted to party and do drugs. I didn't. I guess that I am the last of a dying breed. My freshman dance was 2 years ago and I didn't even think about going because I was to shy to ask anyone. I always use the excuse that I have a rejection phobia. I am the person that you see at a party that is hanging out with with his friends because no one likes talks either. I can't just go up to a girl and say, hey do you want to go and see a movie this weekend or something. I used to be fat through elementary school and 7 and 8 grade. Then I went to the gym and I went from 250lbs to 180lbs. I am 6'1 so this weight is better. Even though I look better I still don't have the courage to talk to girls. I always think that if I ask them, after they turn me down that they will go off and blab to their friends and make fun of me. I have asked a couple of girls out and they say that they like me as a friend or that they don't have time for a boyfriend and then a couple days later someone else asks them out and they say yes. This year the prom is fast approaching and I didn't ask anyone. Someone tell me how to get over this. I am 17. I don't play sports, maybe thats why. Girls want sports guys. And I don't hang out with the popular crowd because they are too fake. Help.
(link)
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First of all-YOU are the in-crowd. Look at some famous folks in history. The price of being a revolutionary is putting up with the flock of sheep-the so-called "popular kids" blabbing-but,they're going to do that ANYWAY about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE and even EACH OTHER. If I were you-I'd stay perched up in my tree of detached observation and enjoy the comedy of errors people call the "popular kids and what they're doing". I AM NOT pushing isolation or lonership as we all need buddies-people we DON'T have to excuse ourselves around. This is not about "settling", its about finding and being around YOUR people.
Now, look at you radar. I'll bet there's someone,maybe others quietly watching your good example. You've alot of inner strength to have taken control of aspects of your own life(style). Ask a girl from the gym out on a date or to the prom. Hook up with some guys from the gym-I use "the gym" because you say you go there and whoever else goes has similar interests in that area. That's also part of being a revolutionary,sometimes you must venture outside to other places to find your buds. I think...I KNOW you have a great future ahead of you just from what you've said in your question,and what you've already accomplished. You have alot of character and people smarts. Sometimes it takes others to believe in you to help you see this! I hope I have helped you! Now, its up to you to take action-I just answered a question from another person who was shy about asking a girl out.-look at my column and read that as well. Please keep me posted.-insight2020
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I am a 25 year old female, and the other night my boyfriend accidentally (he says) called me his ex-girlfriends (mother of his childs) name, while giving me a compliment. Is this a big deal, I can't help but be bothered by it. He says it was an accident, and that it's me he loves, and he doesn't know why he said it. What should I do? (link)
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Maybe provide a wee bit more info. How long have you a)known each other b)been together? c)when did they separate and under what circumstances? What is your history in relationships? Any trust issues? I will say that since he has children with this woman,she's(and they) bound to be a part of his life for the rest of his life. Please,provide me more info so that I can better help you-insight2020(formerly known as tommytony)
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