T.B.A.
Gender: Male
Location: Washington (The State), but living in Japan
Occupation: Slave to the Grind in the Medical Waste Industry
Age: 32
ICQ: 22842118
AIM: Fryd Toast
Yahoo: friedtoast2
MSN: smurfedtoast@hotmail.com
Member Since: October 16, 2003
Answers: 5
Last Update: October 17, 2003
Visitors: 1409
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Lately I developed a liking towards a guy friend in my dorm. Every time it was just the two of us together, or just the two of us and perhaps one other close friend, he would act very solicitous towards me--he would do small things such as put his arm around my shoulder, hold my books for me, etc. I have also had many wonderful conversations with him in his room and elsewhere. So I was hopeful until this week, when I found out that he has asked another girl to a date event and has feelings towards her. Now I wonder if he felt something towards me but was discouraged by my inaptitude in flirting--I have difficulty playing that whole game of hinting and whatnot. It's a foreign language to me. (link)
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Have you ever been interested in more than one person at the same time? I know I have. And if I'm single, it's pretty much a matter of going with whoever's showing interest in being with me.
That being said, from your description, it's difficult to say what his intentions are. He likes you. That much is apparent. Perhaps he felt a lack of interest from you, so went for the other gal. Perhaps he asked the other gal because he felt you wouldn't be interested. There are a million what-ifs. The only way to know which one is right is to talk to him. If you really like him, then it's worth your time to risk rejection and find out the story.
Next time you're together, ask him if the gal that he took to the date event is his g'friend. If you're really interested, but he's w/ her, just stick w/ being friends. That way, you'll get to know him better and when he's single again, if you're still interested, you can make it known that you're willing to go out with him.
Good luck.
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If you're too shy to ask someone out in person is it creepy to write them a note? (link)
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I tend to agree w/ ev'one else that in person is better. HOWever, I have a story that works a bit to the contrary.
In college, I met a gal. She told me where she worked. I wanted to ask her out, but didn't have her phone number and didn't have any classes with her. So, I went to her work. She was busy (not generally a good idea to sit around chatting while someone's working in a public setting), so I wrote a note asking if she'd like to go out (don't remember what the occasion was). She was excited about it. So yah, it worked for me, but that was a specific work-related circumstance. Otherwise, I don't know that I'd pursue the note-writing bit.
BTW- That gal was my g'friend for 3 months (until she moved across the state :( She asked me to move with her, but hey- that's another story for another time ;)
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I've gone out with this kid twice and both times the reason for the break up was we were basically sick of each other. Unfortunately, we both keep bouncing back to each other. Consequently I'm pretty obsessed with this one kid.
Recently, however, he's taken to generally ignoring me when I'm around. This hurts me, not because I like him per se at the moment, but because I miss our friendship like whoa. I say hi to him whenever I see him and everything, but I don't want to call him (the chase and all that jazz). But I miss him so much. I've let too many friendships die this way. Advice? (link)
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If he's ignoring you, then he's not worth your time. Perhaps he is a decent person if you miss the times you had together, but if he's ignoring you, then he's very immature, and at this stage in your life where every little thing that happens is a major hit to your self-esteem, it's best to let it go.
Believe in yourself.
If you can do that one thing, you won't *need* him. You won't feel that Life is going to end if you're not with someone. You'll find that you will have a lot of Good friends, as people love to be around others that are confident in themselves. Honestly, we all have issues about self-confidence. If we find someone that seems to have that problem under control, I think most people gravitate to that sort of behavior. We want to be confident, too!
So you're wondering what this has to do w/ your guy. It has everything to do with it. And if you can get past thinking that you *need* to be with someone (which you didn't say, but seems apparent to me), you'll be fine and let go of this minor fixation.
You'd definitely be better w/o someone that's willing to ignore you rather than be a friend. But hey- that's just my 1/2 cent worth.
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I met a guy in a chat room....We have a lot in common and a lot of the same interests. I am 15 and he is 37...he looks way younger. I have been hanging out with him after school and at the mall. I want to date him. I am very attracted to him and he is SO nice and sweet to me. He takes me to lunch, etc. Should I get involved with him even though we have a huge age difference? I don't think it makes a difference. (link)
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I'm generally all for any relationships with extreme age differences. Whatever floats ev'one's boats.
HOWEVER, you are 15. That part of the equation throws my belief right out the window. I agree w/ ev'one else. Run, do not walk, away from this. Most likely, you will disregard ev'one's advice because he's a "Nice Guy," but don't say you weren't warned.
He may be nice, but you have to look at the reasoning he's got going- what's a 37 yr old looking for in a 15 yr old? The experiences alone would drive most people apart rather immediately, I would think. So if he's perfectly capable of being happy with what you can offer experience-wise, it just makes me wonder what's wrong w/ him.
I'm not putting you down. Rather, putting things in a perspective that you cannot see yet. In time,you will understand the viewpoints that the people here are sharing. You might not see them for the truths that they harbor right now, though. But I assure you, no one is trying to do you harm by telling you to stay away from him. The opposite is true. We might not know you, but no one here wants to see someone get into a possibly dangerous situation (one that's already borderline illegal and definitely morally lacking).
If you were around 20 years old, I'd tell you to go for it. But 15? Not a chance in the world, chief.
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