I like to give advice on anything I can. Usually, my advice ranges from topics like self improvement, family, friends, and romantic relationships. I aim to help people develop gratifying relationship with the people they love as well as the people around them. I'm honest, so my advice is always humble. I can advise you on anything I know, so feel free to ask!
Gender: Female
Location: New York
Occupation: Student - BA Psychology
Age: 21
Member Since: February 27, 2009
Answers: 2
Last Update: February 27, 2009
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Hi, I'm a 32 y/o woman and have been married to my husband for about 5 years now. I love him dearly, but he just got an obession with porn. It seems like everyday when I leave to go to work he will be on the computer pulling up porn sites. I don't really want to confront him with it, because he can get very violent at times. Plus this is not the first time that I have noticed he was doing it, and I confronted him about it before, he told me he was going to stop. I guess he just could'nt do it! So what should I do? (link)
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It seems as though porn is not your husbands only issue. But, let's start with the main priority.
Let us define lust. To lust after something or someone is to have an intense sexual desire for said object/person.
Watching porn is absolutly a lustful act. Whatever your husband is watching he is lusting after. Whether it be the people he is watching or the things they are doing, he is lusting after it.
It's possible that your husband is not content with his sex life and porn his only option. In an attempt to stay faithful to their partners a lot of people who are unhappy with their sexlives, and who cannot repress their sexual desires, become porn addicts.
Obviously you are not comfortable with this if you had asked him to stop. Sometimes, just asking someone to stop watching porn is not the solution. Maybe you need a better undersanding of why your husband watches porn.
I have no idea what sort of relationship you have with your husband, but if it's a relationship where you are both open and loving with one another, try enjoying porn with him.
Or, try becoming his sexual outlet so that he will no longer need porn. The only way to do this is to find out what he likes and wants.
On a side note, if you are in the kind of relationship where you are scared to confront your partner about an intimate issue such as this becuase he might get violent, you need to realize that he is not paying attention to your concerns. Aside from the fact that nobody should be in a violent relationship, the fact that he is also ignoring your concerns is something you ought to try and put a stop to.
Keep in mind, relationships often wither with time. If there are any unresolved issues in your relationship they must be solved in order for you two to progress as partners.
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