SmoothKalyn414's advice column | SmoothKalyn414's Advice About Work/School Relationships

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Q: So...my teacher keeps pointing me out in the midst of class in an attempt to lower my spirits. She's claiming I'm out of control, but I'm just a really cheerful person and like to be positive. She's constantly belittling me and it's rather tiring. She is in control of my grades, so how should I handle this?

I'm not going to tone down who I am. It's not about my pride. I just feel that she needs to be accepting because she's turning this all into a personal issue. Thanks to those who help!

I have DEFINITELY had some insane teachers in many years of school. (I'm old lol)

And if there's one thing I learned, is that teachers thrive on being IN control of their classrooms. It's like they are on stage or something... and yall are the helpless audience, so to speak. This teacher, is nothing but a bad comedian who picks on the audience for their own amusement.

I had a professor in college who basically targeted me for everything and even took away my cell phone when it rang. It was crazy! I eventually warmed up to her and I understood that she just wanted to act like an 8 year old and be immature. Some teachers, unfortunately, don't mature. Same goes for your teacher.

I think the best bet would be to kinda keep a low profile for a couple of days... not saying to tone down, just kinda keep low out of defiance... because she is EXPECTING you to be your sunny self. She won't know what to think. And, if all goes to plan, she will move on to another target. But if not, there's always a plan B. Don't say anything to her if she calls you out. Just give her an eat shit smile and walk away. She will move on to another target and will get tired of your strong self-control.

And, plan C would be to tell your parents or principal. But plan A and B should be annoying enough to snap her out of it. Hope this helps!

Q: At my school, (6th grade) there is this boy named Chase, and he's in all of my periods, except reading. Last year, at the elementey, there was an after school care, and we both went. He used to hang around me alot, and was my friend. Now, he hates me because I am too annoying, I sent him an email, appologizing 4 what I did, and telling him that I missed being his friend, and he said it could happen again, he's been thinking. But, I think I might like him more than a friend. I did last year, and him, and everyone knew it, then I told everyone I didnt, just to make him feel more comfertable to be around me. But, now, that he might just now, be geting over hating me, i dont know if I still like him, and if I should tell him or not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please help me,

ps: he's really cute,
signed, curious mysterious,
a cant give out my age, but i am a girl

Ok, I know this is going to be hard, but keep a good distance from him.

He isn't really a friend at all if he just blows you off like that. But... even though I'm 20, I was a middle schooler once... I would make friends with certain guys because I thought they were hot, but then once I got to know them I was like, "What was I thinking?"

He is a pretty awful friend if he just discarded your apology like that... don't give him the time of day... make new friends that are JUST AS cute if not cuter and try to move on.

And again, it's going to be hard, but it is the healthiest to do... AND, if that doesn't work, there's always celebrities in magazines. Keanu Reeves was always a big favorite of mine (hey, I'm old lol)

I hope this helps!

Q: This guy I really want to ask to homecoming just got a girlfriend. I go to an all girls school and he goes to an all boys school. His girlfriend doesn't go to my school though. I wanted to know if you think it would be ok if I still took him to my homecoming. Or would that be totally off limits.

P.S I don't like him, we are just really good friends.

Ok, so he's going to an all guys school... ask him to introduce you to some of his hot friends? It couldn't hurt... that's what I would have done if I was going to Homecoming...

And, since you don't like him in that way... hang out with him and his friends and see if there is a friend of his that you DO like.

It couldn't hurt, right?

Q: i'm 16/f... this guy at school I've had my eye on for a while is in my gym class and the only thing I know is that he's good at any activity except in the social area. Don't get me wrong I mean he's really sweet, but whenever someone has a conversation with him it's so one-sided it's like the person is talking to themselves. Ok, how do I approach him without feeling like I'll say something stupid and actually get pass this wall of his?

Thanks,
CrushOnMysteriousGuy

He sounds a LOT like how my boyfriend used to be in High School. My boyfriend is the strong silent type... in fact, his fraternity nickname is "The Wall" because he doesn't say much to people he hardly knows.

Get this guy to know you. Talk to him, it doesn't have to be much, just a simple "hey, how are you" can do the trick. But keep it real... don't let it seem fake or intrusive. And be consistent with it, so he'll expect a pattern.

Then when he's warmed up to you... if he hasn't already... talk about other things, like school, etc. Once you're on a "friend" level with him, kick it up a notch... invite him to hang out or whatever.

It will take a while, but shy guys are definitely worth it. I've been with my boyfriend since 2003 and he is just AMAZING!! Just remember that he's probably just as nervous as you are. ;)

Q: Okay so my friend Jake is running for president, and he asked me to help think of a slogan that was funny, good, deep, and wasn't a spin'off of his last name(Cheriff) could anyone give me some ideas?

When I was in grade school, I LOVED elections. I always had to help with campaigns and even run for things myself.

(My 11th grade year in 2003, my slogan was you'd be smooth sailin' with Kalyn... and I won!)

Anyway, since your friend doesn't want a slogan with his name, you might want to go with an alternative approach.

How about something to the effect of

I pity da fool who doesn't vote for Jake! And have Mr. T "endorse" him.

Or do something Baywatch related and do something with the theme song... Jake will be ready, never you fear... and have David Hasselhoff on the posters.

Or... Jake will make 08 great. I know it's a play of his name, but I couldn't help putting it up.

If you need anything else, let me know :)

Q: I have this teacher who I had last year, and now I have her again. And for some reason she's never liked me. I have no idea why, because teachers usually LOVE me... I'm a really good student, respectful, don't goof around, etc. But this teacher is always so mean to me and she keeps making nasty remarks. Like today was "hat day"... so I come into class wearing a hat, like everyone else, and the teacher says (in a mean voice), "ooooh, you think you look so cute, don't you?" And the other day I got a note during her class to leave early for a student council meeting, and she says to the class, "Well, EMILY has to leave now because SHE'S special!" It really hurts my feelings and embarrasses me and I don't know what to do. If I say something it will just make her hate me more, right? Is there anything I can do, or should I just try to ignore it?

You remind me a lot of how I used to be in grade school. I'm actually still the same way in college. I'm in Student Government and really involved on campus.

Like you, I absolutely HATE it when teachers pick on me or single me out. It is embarrassing and hurtful, I agree. But perhaps the teacher just wants to have fun or joke around with you... she might not realize the tone she is directing towards you.

Next time you have an Student Council meeting, if she says something about you being special, reply with a "But of course I am" or something to that effect with a smile/laugh. See her reaction. Is it a smile? Then she just wants to have fun.

I had a problem with one of my professors last year, and just saying things back to her in a humorous manner in class or going to her office to share a joke really helped her change her opinion of me.

Another thing to do is to tell her how you feel. Hey, it couldn't hurt, right?

Q: im 17/fem, and in my sophmore year of highschool. so last year, there was this nice, but really flirty teacher in my school who did something incredibly uncomfortable [for me] one time. he actually did three things, all in the same day. we were just sitting around in his classroom and he decides to sit next to me, so he sorta pushes my leg/thigh over. i ignore it. A while later, while looking towards another direction, he runs his hand from my knees down to where my leg joins the hip. i simply hop off the desk and walk away, and ignore it. then one of my classmates decides to take a picture and he gets next to me and hugs me by the waist and holds me tighter. i know he was probably taking advantage of it being the last day of the schoolyear, but teachers just aren't supposed to do that. when i told my friend, she said he had done the last one to her too, but of course, i ignored it. Well this year, i got the same bad vibe from another teacher when he sort of touched me the wrong way, and its tormenting me. i dont want to get anyone in trouble, so im not telling on them, but what should i do to distract myself from thinking about this?

This is why I NEVER sit close to a teacher. Teachers like this casanova believe that they are invisible. He must be close to getting tenure, or really REALLY stupid. Report this to your parents, the police, or whoever you trust.

I know you don't want to get anyone in trouble, but look at what it is doing to you emotionally and physically?