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Dear Melaina,

I am so confused right now. I am in a relationship with a man I'll call 'Tony' for 3 years. We have a one year old daughter together, and we have been sharing an apartment. Last week when he was in the shower his cell phone started ringing. Usually I don't answer his phone, but I didn't want him to miss a call from work or someone important.

Anyways, I answered his phone and it was another woman. I asked who she was and she said she was his GIRLFRIEND, and that they had been dating for a little more than 2 years. They must have started dating when I was pregnant with my daughter. I feel so betrayed, and I want to leave 'Tony', but I have no financial support. I am so upset, and I don't know what to do. Please, help me!

Signed, Brokenhearted

Dear Brokenhearted,

First of all, I would like to say that my heart goes out to you. Being betrayed like you were is the most demeaning feeling, and I wish you a healthy relationship in the future. As for what you can do right now, here are some suggestions:

-So long as you and your daughter are not in any harm living under the same roof as him, you could secretly save up some money and put it into an account that 'Tony' doesn't have access to. Then, when you decide to leave (and you definately need to), you will be able to support yourself and your daughter while you re-locate.

-If you are in any danger at all living under the same roof as him (or you have sustained ANY kind of abuse from him) then you need to leave immdiately and stay at a woman's shelter such as Julian Center. Julian Center provides shelter and counseling to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Please update me with information on your situation, and I will do what I can to help you.

Regards, Melaina

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