Member Since: April 19, 2021
Answers: 179
Last Update: June 27, 2022
Visitors: 8200
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I have a question about how to handle something that could be awkward. It is not a crisis right now, but it is something I am thinking about and wondering how to handle it when it comes up in the future.
I am 16M. I am having a consensual sexual relationship with my female supervisor at work. She is older than me at 26. I am a dishwasher at a restaurant and she is an assistant manager in charge of my shift. After we started being physical she made sure my two shifts each week are for the closing shift when she works (which is fine with me).
It all started when she found out I lied about my age on my job application. I was actually 15 when I started. I am trying to save money to get a car. Still working on that. She called me in to her office after closing and demanded to see ID. I did not have a license yet so I confessed and begged her not to fire me.
It was kind of pathetic looking back. She said I seemed so desperate and panicked over a dishwasher job. I told her I would do “anything.” She made me repeat that and she emphasized “anything.” She told me to take of my shirt and did this sexy inspection thing. She asked if sex was on the table and I said I would do that even if she was not blackmailing me. So it started that night.
While I could go into details of stuff we do together I don’t see how that has anything to do with my question. Let’s just say she is teaching me a lot and I love her super demanding high expectations. She has a thing for younger guys and I guess and I am turned on by the age difference and the whole proving my manhood to her thing. And yes, I was a virgin and I am glad she was the one.
She does not cut me any slack at work. She is actually way more demanding on me and even acts like I am a screw up. People are like “Why does she hate you so much?” Sometimes I think she overdoes it, but she will like wink at me when she does it and says it is just so people do not realize we like each other (which makes sense). I am actually a hard worker and helpful to everyone and I don’t really make a lot of mistakes. It is a game to see if she can find something minor to exaggerate so she can ream me out in front of other people. Sometimes she just makes stuff up just to bust on me for show. It is hard not to laugh sometimes.
As much as I like her (even beyond the sex), we are obviously not dating. We are just having sex and playing sexy games she makes up. Everything is on the down low. We would both get fired for sure. My parents would freak. She also might get in legal trouble which I do not want. That is why I have to be careful about asking for advice.
Here is the problem. We are both single now, but if one of us met someone we liked and wanted to date them and have a legit relationship, I feel like we would have to end our sex adventures to be faithful to that other person. I assume she would feel the same way, but I don’t know.
I am not sure how to bring this up to her. It is not an issue now, so maybe I would just spoil things by bringing it up until it is actually an issue. I don’t think she would actually fire me but I don’t want to make her mad or disappoint her or make things weird. I also don’t want the fun we are having right now to stop. I don’t want her to get the wrong idea like I am cooling off and looking for an excuse to stop. To be honest, I feel like I am lucky out of my mind to be in this situation like a fantasy come true. But I know if can’t last forever and she would never take me seriously as a boyfriend even I was legal. Any advice would be welcome.
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Dear Sixteen year old male: You asked what you should do to discuss a potential future issue with the 26 year old you are having sex with. I can tell you, the way to bring up any issue or question for discussion, is to state your concern and listen carefully, and compose our own replies. You also mentioned that you don't want things to end, that you are "having fun right now", but also that you are "cooling off."
Dear Teemager, you don't need "an excuse to stop", or even an explanation. Understand, that because you are a minor, the law says that you are being molested and this is a CRIME. I can guarantee you , that one way or the other, this will soon stop. It is also highly likely that you and she will be discovered.
And, chances are good that your 26 year old supervisor will not only lose her job, and you will , as well, but that she will be charged with a crime, convicted, and go to jail.
If you don't want to see this happen, you tell her, RIGHT NOW, that its over, that you are no longer available. And further, as long as she is there, you need to quite your job and LEAVE.
Either you can tell someone in authority, e.g,, HER boss, the police, child protective services,your school counselor, or , guess what, YOUR PARENTS (!), or someone is going to discover this anyway.
There are good reasons why this is a crime and you are considered a victim, even if you are willing and have consented on your own to participate.
Now: having advised you thusly, I also have to consider that you may be making all this up? If so, please don't waste our time, when there are folks with genuinely servious issues in need of help.
If not, good luck and good wishes, now do the right thing. ~Dr. Stephanie
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Rating: 5
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Thank you! That really helped a lot and things are better for me now.
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