Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 33751
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I'm a virgin and all of my sexual fantasies include an element of BDSM. Is this normal? (link)
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Quite agree! Nothing to worry about here. It's a fetish. Something which appeals to us sexually. Possibly just the idea. Possibly actually doing it. A pair of consenting adults in a relationship might try some fun on a BDSM theme. To whatever limits they agree, or discover they both enjoy. Or it might just remain something you find arousing personally and never try. This one is all rooted in a 'control' thing. Loosely tying someone's wrists, for instance, (with a soft tie they could easily shake off if they wanted to) can give one partner the feeling of being in control, the other a feeling of being 'helpless to resist'. This power-game does not imply any degree of dominance-submission in the whole relationship. And it may well be the guy who enjoys being helpless! It's not an uncommon fetish and there are outfits and toys in adult/sex shops to make things as elaborate and showy as you wish. The whole 'theatre' experience. Harmless fun for couples who 'like' and a harmless fantasy for people who just like the idea. Those who 'don't like' can tend to see role-play like this as a bit silly and pointless. More likely to make them laugh than to make them feel horny! Others might find the idea shocking and not natural. Especially if they fail to grasp the 'fantasy' aspect of it as a sex-game and feel it might suggest an abusive, over-controlling relationship outside the bedroom. If you indeed find you become someone who enjoys such things, make a mental note NEVER to use any toys or accessories which could restrict the breathing of you or your partner. This could prove a disater. Rare, but it has been known.
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Rating: 5
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thanks for your insights- I'm relieved to hear it's normal
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