Gender: Male
Location: West haven ct
Member Since: January 12, 2016
Answers: 22
Last Update: June 2, 2017
Visitors: 2116
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Hello. I'm an 18 year old female, who is very frustrated and confused, and mostly just lonely.
I want to finally be over my ex completely. It has been about a year since we stopped being friends with benefits, after about 5 or 6 months of us breaking up. We were only together for 2 months.
Let that sink in for a bit.
We broke up because he realized he was losing feelings for me anymore. He tried to develop them back but it didn't work. He started being resentful toward me, forcing himself to like me. He started to be very mean. Then he felt bad because he didn't want to keep hurting me to he broke up with me. A few weeks later I ask him to be FWB. He says no. Then he goes out with a girl he probably really feel in love with. She breaks up with him. I take advantage and ask him again to have sex with me, he says yes this time, I'm very excited. We do some things, but it was unclear to me what we were doing. I still had feelings, and when I asked what we were doing he said "we're talking", so I thought he was trying to say he was planning on us getting back together so i was like, cool. and then i got scared he would just do the same thing to me, because i knew he might, so I cried to him over the phone and said something that he really didnt like so now he wants nothing to do with me at all because all i do is make him feel like a horrible person (because im right about him)
The part of me that wanted him in my life mostly wanted a relationship before. But now I just want to have sex with him. I don't want to be friends, I don't want to talk to him, I don't want to have him exist in my world at all except to come pleasure me when I ask him to. For so many reasons, but really I just want really high quality meaningful sex. I also know now that in order to get over him, I have to fall deeply, hopefully much much deeper (if that is even possible -.-) in love with someone else or at least meet an awesome guy that actually likes me back, & soon, because I'm afraid I'll lose my patience & give my virginity away to a random guy. Which is what I think I want. But that is just because I am frustrated & I have wasted two precious high school years of my life loving a boy that just doesn't like me. I really don't want that for myself. Not for one second longer. But the harder I try to forget about how sexually compatible I am with him and start developing feelings for someone worthy of me, I'm just making it take longer!
The part of me that knows better knows that I want to lose my virginity to my future husband. I really do. At least that is the ideal, but I'd just as well be perfectly happy with losing it to the next guy I fall in love with. How do I know this?
I tried just having sex with this guy I was talking to for a while both before & after I was friends with benefits with my ex. I cut him off this week, both because I knew I wasn't gonna give it to him and because he was talking to a girl that he didn't even tell me about, he let me find out from her. Now this guy, I don't even like or respect this guy as a person. He is a liar and a player & just generally has no idea what he is doing when it comes to relationships.
(I took Girl Code a little too seriously -- they say to never be friends with benefits with an ex, (i totally ignored that part) & instead to do it with someone you would never go out with, have no feelings for, no possibility of ever developing them, although you are physically attracted to the person)
I don't even respect this guy. He doesn't believe in love, he let his first girlfriend hurt him so badly that he is closing himself off to the idea of love, therefore he doesn't want to fall in love. This really gets to me. I don't respect him because that mindset makes him a coward in my eyes. You need to be bold enough to try again and again and again until you find your soulmate because i imagine once you find them, its the best thing in the world. Love is everything. I want to see him happy, just because that is the type of person I am. I am very emotional. I like to see happy people.
Basically what I am trying to say is that I can't be friends with benefits, with anyone really. I need to be in love in a relationship with a boy before i can enjoy sex. But I really want to stop wanting to have sex with my ex. So should I just find a better guy to have sex with? Is that even what I should do? I know I'm ready to have sex but I want it to mean something, with a boy that is at least worth my time.
Thank you for taking your time to read this and try to help me today. I truly appreciate it :)
PS: If you're confused about anything at all, please feel free to ask me to clear it up for you. I'll add info for you
PPS: have a great day, because they all are. (link)
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Take a deep breath, your only 18 , it will be well worth the wait when you find the one worthy of your love and affection . you are very special and deserve someone who will treat you like a princess. Billy
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