Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 33764
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Okay so I've had the biggest crush on this girl for almost a year. She is so cute and perfect. I haven't told her anything because first of all, I don't think she's into girls. She's 3 years younger than me and I know it would not work out. I guess I have just held on to the little hope that she might be into me too because there had been occasions where she would blush when we would talk. Or when she asked me if I had a boyfriend randomly. Or when she would try to hang with me as much as possible but then again, maybe it was all in my head that maybe a wonderful girl like her would like me back. Anyway, I need to get over her. I just don't know how. I don't go to the same school as her anymore but I still have her on social media. I'm constantly checking up on her (not In a creepy way, maybe a little, kidding.) I think it's time for me to move on. I'm just hurting myself over and over again. She probably has no idea that I have a huge crush on her. It's kind of pathetic, I know. So any advice on how to get over someone that I never even dated? Thank you. (link)
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Hi there. Looking at someone and wanting to share your time and experiences etc, and of course keeping an eye out for any signs that they return the affection is a perfectly normal starting phase to many relationships. It's not sad or pathetic, so don't beat yourself up. Also, the thought that if she is so nice, why would she want ME is normal too. OK, it might denote an extremely low self-esteem, but more usually it's because we rate them very highly in our estimation. We basically question, "Am I good enough". If you'rre thinking like that about a person then it's a sure sign you admire them greatly, and that's a good thing. So you won't be seeing her again in the general course of things, but it appears you could still easily contact her via social media? That's looking like a good position to get a definite result (with no chance of awkward moments and gossip if it's a 'No') to me, don't you think? Write it and tell. How you miss her, how strongly you felt when you were around together. That you never quite got the nerve to ask her outright. You regret it. It was a missed opportunity and you're asking now. Maybe 'moving on' won't be the case at all? There's really only one way to find out for sure in a position like this. If it doesn't work then you'll know you did all you possibly could. Played your hand, in plain view, win or lose. A definite result. That's a really key step in 'getting over' someone and 'moving on'. Left hanging, it's more difficult. There's always that element of doubt. Like a little glimmer of a flame. It's flickering, and none too bright, but it won't quite go out, eh? You know what I mean, don't you? then it's usually a matter of time, moving on is a day-by-day, step-by-step process. Hardly ever like a 'lightbulb moment', like Click! "Hey! I've moved on." But (BIG BUT!!), before you resign yourself to getting over her, for goddness sake tell her how you feel. No beating about the bush, no coyness, no bluffs or double-bluffs, no playing cool. Time to lay your cards on the table! You sound well into her, so I'm crossing my fingers for you. For that chance you might have let slip by through lack of nerve. Send that message. Don't overthink it, don't talk yourself out of it, don't put it off until a better time. Just DO IT!
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