Member Since: June 22, 2013
Answers: 166
Last Update: November 6, 2015
Visitors: 8679
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I am 24 and my boyfriend turns 26 in July. He is weird about having kids. For example, when we seriously thought I was pregnant the only reason why he wanted me to have an abortion was because he didn't think that we were financially stable enough for a child.
After we found out that I wasn't, I asked him whether or not having a baby with me would be that bad, if he had a full-time job and could support all of us. He said, "No, not at all." Just before mother's day this year, he joked, "You might be celebrating mother's day this time next year." Other times, he says he's never having kids.
While having a baby is out of the question for us right now because we cannot financially afford one, I would love to have his baby one day. Probably sooner than later, after we are more financially able to support ourselves.
The problem is that my mother is not a particularly loving mother. She is the type who wants to be the center of attention. I never had a cut or bruise on me from her, but she did hit me, and do things that I swear were done to hurt me. Over the years she has made up lies in an attempt to alienate me from other members of my family. When I call her out on them, it's as though they actually happened, and she gets angry at me for telling her that they are lies. Every time she had to do something for me, it was a complaint, and she is unhappy that I am a full-time student who hasn't held a job in over a year.
He really had no example of a good father either. Up until he was 9 years old, his grandfather alive and he would play sports with him. That's one of the reasons why my boyfriend loves to watch baseball, football and basketball so much.
His biological father was a heroin addict, who left him when he was two years old. For the next few years, up until he was 15, when his dad finally passed away, he saw him four times in his life.
Can we still be good parents, without a good example? (link)
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"Can we still be good parents, without a good example?"
It doesn't matter. You have your heart set on having a baby, and that means that you are going to have one.
Do remember that babies are not babies for very long. What I suggest to you is that in your mental self-talk, you substitute the word "child" for "baby" every time you catch yourself doing it. Does this change your feelings towards the idea of having one? If it does, what does that mean?
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Rating: 5
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I use the word "baby" interchangably with child. There's something about the idea of carrying my boyfriend's baby.
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