Member Since: April 14, 2015
Answers: 2
Last Update: April 15, 2015
Visitors: 679
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My boyfriend and I have been on and off but lately things have been well for us and I couldn't be ever more thankful that we have stopped arguing and tried to get to some common ground. Although, deep down, I can feel another fight coming, though I definitely don't want it to happen. The last time we talked to each other about our feelings and confronted each other on our problems, he told me something that just resonated and wouldn't leave my mind. When we first started becoming serious, and even when I was for sure serious about him, I remember that there was time where on social media, he would try to follow almost every girl he knew and would constantly like their pictures. I knew through people telling me and things I saw for myself. All of that hurt deep down knowing he was telling me one thing but was trying to get attention from other girls. Today, he doesn't really do it but I remember from our night's discussion that he told me whenever he was with his ex, he would think about being with other girls physically. He told me this because he was trying to say that he never feels that way with me. Of course after he mentioned it, I remember those times we were talking when I saw that same behavior from him. Now, I guess we are more serious but my question is, why does it bother me so much? I do trust him now but I'm scared if things go bad, what if he turns back to this behavior. It would hurt so much.
It also bothers me that he's had about 5 girlfriends in the past and he told me about some of the hookups he had too. I know its not a competition but I've had only one boyfriend in the past so... I don't know, it makes me a little insecure. How do I get over this? (link)
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You must just talk to him. Tell him your fears, concerns and insecurities. If you are really meant to be you both will listen to the worries of the other. It may get heated because he may think you don't trust him but remember to specify that this is a worry about future relationship. What I would do is tell him that if he does feel like he is starting to be interested in other girls its only fair to tell you. I am pretty sure by your question that you are monogamous and would not be willing to share but if he is vocal with you, you may be able to leave your relationship on a positive note. Make sure he knows now that you are monogamous so if he ever feels like he wants that that it may not work. But that doesn't mean the relationship now is hurt. Enjoy your relationship while it lasts because if your always worried about the future you aren't living in the present.
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