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July 7, 2014Answers:
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Dragonflymagic
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I didn't know how else to title my question, but what I mean is that my granddad, who is very hard of hearing, says insulting things about people not knowing that they can hear him. Since he can't hear well, he doesn't realize how loud he's being, but he's usually speaking at a normal voice volume.
We are caucasian and I don't think of myself as being racist. I don't think my granddad dislikes people of other races either, but he doesn't seem to think very highly of them. However, he definitely IS prejudice against homosexuals and I bite my nails every time one's around him because I'm worried about what he'll say to them.
Once a couple months ago, he, my mom, and I were eating lunch out after having taken him to the doctor. Our waiter was African American and a little goofy, but he was very sweet and a great waiter. Apparently earlier while I was in the waiting room at the doctor's, my mom and granddad were being seen by an African American homosexual male nurse. At lunch, just as our waiter was walking off, my granddad said, "Well, this must be my day for (gay slur) black guys." He said it where the guy could hear him, but although I was embarrassed, I'm glad he said black guys and not a certain racial slur that he uses a lot.
Not too long ago, my mom took him to the eye doctor and there were apparently a lot of other elderly people in the waiting room. My granddad is almost 82 and makes a lot of old jokes about himself. At the eye doctor's office, he leaned over in my mom's ear and said about the other people in the waiting room, "These people are all older than I am." At which time every one turned and stared at them.
He means for these things to be jokes and I think it hurts his feelings if you don't laugh, but I know he can be insulting and even hurtful at times. I know the obvious thing to do is just to tell him, but I don't think it'll help. He can't hear well enough to know how loud he is. What should I do?
You NEED TO have him evaulated. Hard of hearing has nothing to do with what he is saying. This does seem like he is showing signs of early dementia. Also at a certain age the elderly can change personality wise. He might just be mimicking what his parents said and not realize it.
Talk to your mom about this and try to come up with a solution about him.
(Rating: 5) Aw no, really? That sucks, but I guess it's something we have to look into. I have been saying lately that I can tell his memory' s going and I think my mom's starting to see it too. I'll talk to her as you said. Thank you very much for your advice. :)