Hey everyone!
I'm usually that friend everyone goes to for advice. (I'm also the one who gives good advice but doesn't apply it to herself, lol.) Whether I've been in your shoes, or know little of your situation I'll answer honestly and truthfully. I'm here to help.
Some background info for you guys: My parents are divorced. My mother's remarried. I have two older sisters, one with two boys. I'm a Senior in High School.
So go ahead, ask away!
Gender: Female
Location: Paradise ^-^
Occupation: Accounting Clerk
Age: 17
Member Since: July 3, 2012
Answers: 94
Last Update: December 5, 2015
Visitors: 7943
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I just got out of high school, but for five years up until almost the end of my senior year, me and this girl Carrie were best friends. We never hung out at each other's houses, we were just best friends at school and almost always had all of our classes together. She had a lot of problems with many old boyfriends since she was very young, and a tough home life. She was basically on her own since she was 13, her parents weren't too supportive. We stopped being friends because she did something to me, and then thought I was talking bad about her which I never would have done. She didn't believe me so I decided I didn't need someone like her in my life. The friendship was basically one sided anyways, she would tell me her problems and I would listen and give advice. I would give her rides everywhere because her parents wouldn't let her have her license. Anywho, after we stopped being friends I was pretty happy, but I would always see her staring at me and I've heard her talking about me multiple times. She hated me. And after this I started to not like her too. We worked in the same place, and she would take every chance to make me do dirty work or just try and take advantage of me. I quit that job because of my own problems at home and continued on with my life. I started talking to a boy, I had been friends with him ever since grade school, but we never talked much until now and realized we had so much in common. We started dating and I then found out that he had dated Carrie years ago before me and her were best friends. I was alright with that, things happen. I know that he is in love with me, and she has had about four boyfriends since him and is currently with someone, so she would have no reason to still talk to him. Well he has always given her rides to school since they live kind of close, not too often though. He started doing it less and less now that we started dating. He never asked what happened between me and her, but I would talk to him crying about what she did to me at school that day. He knows she hates me and that I don't like her. My boyfriend and Carrie both have jobs, and the buildings are near each other. Today I was visiting my boyfriend during his break and we were looking at funny pictures on his phone. A text pops up at the top and it's from Carrie. He seems to ignore it and starts laughing at the funny pictures. I however got instantly sick to my stomach seeing her name on his phone. I got silent. I didn't know that they were talking to each other. I know the message wasn't dirty or anything, but that was only one text, and the point is they are talking to each other. I pretended like nothing was wrong. I drove home crying, because I'm on my period and I'm super emotional. I was thinking if stuff I wish I could have said when I saw that text. "oh aren't you going to respond to her?" "That's weird I didn't know you guys were that close"
Now, I tell him everything. And I feel like he keeps information from me about his past. I am a virgin and I have told him that, but he hasn't told me if he was or not, and that was his only other girlfriend. Me and him have been together for five months. I just don't know what to do, knowing that they talk to each other.
Me and him are always sending funny pictures to each other. When I got home I send him a picture that said "when you see someone else text bae" and there was a series of crying faces, which could be comical, but not to me since I felt that and had been crying. He texted back and said "lol I hate the word bae" I responded "ok sorry." And he hasn't texted back since.
I'm pretty sad, I just need some advice about this. (link)
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Hey there!
I feel like I can relate to everything you typed just perfectly. I was best friends with a girl since 4th grade. In 9th grade she was dating someone and so was I. She started hanging out with other girls, and I just hung out with her when I could and with my partner. That was when she started talking about me and about my relationship. She'd say her relationship was better, and that I had no spark with my boyfriend.
I ignored it but it kept getting worse until I just burst out and got in a really big fight with her and stopped talking to her. She moved away and after a few days I was with my boyfriend and he was showing me some status on facebook when I see a message pop up with her name.
I mean, before she started hanging out with other people we were all friends but I didn't expect them to keep in touch. Anyways, the message was "how are things going with x____?" So I was very angry.
I ended things with him because I cannot trust someone who would have a friendship with someone who disrespects me so much. Someone who talked badly about me and dissed our relationship.
I'm not saying you should dump him, but you should totally come out and say "Hey, I saw that message from Carrie and I think it's really disrespectful of you to talk to her after everything she's done to me."
Tell him that if roles were reversed you'd avoid speaking to that person. And if he denies it or says she's his friend then just tell him that he needs to choose his friends a little better.
Best of luck!
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Rating: 5
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Thank you! This was exactly what I needed to hear. Good to know I'm not the only one who has gone through something like this. Thank you so much again.
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