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I started dating a girl in December, I'm not going to say all the normal love stuff, because, this was a normal relationship, we believed we were perfect for eachother, we loved eachother, ect. Her parents liked me, I went to church and all with them, they were Catholic I'm Baptist.

Well, she would always say how she's always hungry, she doesn't eat as much (later finding out they sometimes don't give her food for like a day or two), her parents call her names like slut, whore, bitch, just cause their mad or so, or they'd slap her, like, they slap her all the time when they don't get their way basically. Sometimes they whip them (her and her sister) with a belt I believe, but it never leaves bruises so she thinks it's "not illegal" because of that, but it burns and hurts her like hell. One time she said "my mother whipped me with a belt 15 times because I drew on the blinds"

Anyways on with the story, everything was normal, until the day before valentines day, her mom grounded her because we were 30 minutes late from the lake which was half a mile away. February 17th or 18th I forget, she got in a argument with her mom, as always the slapping, name calling, she was unhappy. We ran away in the middle of the night together, she said she was going to run away even if I didn't.

So, I protected her, we ran away, we were gone for 18 hours. When we came back, we went into the house and talked to the parents, well, the parents are HIGHLY manipulative and all so remember this later. The mother said how she doesn't even want my girlfriend there, if it wasn't for the dad she wouldn't be there, and responsibility this responsibility that, basically saying their all gonna die if she doesn't do things right, her mother is literally mentally unstable or something... The cop came obviously, the dad said I was a good kid he liked me and all, and we hugged when I left. Everything was normal.

The next day I went there, the mom was mad obviously, we hanged out for 2 or 3 weeks in a normal way. Then I had to goto another state for 3 weeks, I told them I was leaving, and I really was, but I had problems and went to the state over instead with my family for 5 days. Well, we snuck out when I got back because we knew we wouldn't be able to see eachother until the weekend, we always wanted to see eachother. This wasn't the first time we snuck out, and we've been caught 3 times before by her parents. They forgave us though each time.

This time, I lied to the mom sadly saying I was in Missouri. Acted like I was worried the next day ect, the sister had told the mom the truth I guess. The mother 2 days later (March 7th) filed a Protection Order, for no legit reason. Ill say the statements later. The P.O. was served to me March 9th

The dad, is like loyal to the wife because their catholic and all, not to bash the religion in any way. But he just is. I know he would never do this, he didn't file anything. Anyways I went to the house to reconcile with him and he just kept saying go, go, go bla bla no reason then just started saying I was too old. He knew I wasnt, he liked me, he was just doing this for the wife. Cops ended up coming I still refused to leave because I wanted to reconcile, then they tresspassed me.

Anyways, March 17th, I went to walmart, they were all there, the dad walked like "Hey (my name), I see you got a job!" What? "You're wearing your uniform!" Oh yeah "Well, bye!" he was all happy and everything.

After seeing me 3 more times he left with my gf to the car.

March 20th came, the P.O. court date, the statements on it were "Ran away, sneaking out to the lake several times, reporting bullying and saying everything will be okay" I reported her being bullied from people.. And they think thats bad? Hah. Well, the mom anyways. We told the judge about how their using me as a disclipinary tool, how they call her names and mental abuse, how I always just helped her. Not really detailing it but that's short for it, Judge said "Everything was in good intentions for her nothing was done wrong, all he did was help her." and set the P.O. for 3 months.

We got letters on March 24th and March 27th saying how they hurt her she doesn't wanna be there that they say their the "dictators" of the family and they slap her, call her bitch and slut, and that her Aunt threatened to kill me and has a plan and a gun in her car. And will do anything for her mom she doesn't care cause she loves her mom.

Sad.

April 3rd we violated it, she was being starved I heard so I was going to take her to McDonalds, cops caught us within 5 minutes because I "ran a stop sign", well I was on a slope. It was dark, so yeah.

April 9th, the mother chased me, followed me, I ran from her to my friends house and a cop started grabbing me for no reason when he came to investigate so I pushed him and got charged for assault and battery and a violation, went to jail for 6 days. I really did nothing wrong, this cop just started grabbing me then shoving me into the police car because I yelled my mothers number at my friend because he wouldnt let me call her, I KNEW the cops wouldn't call her thats why I tried. Cop wasnt listening to me say they were chasing me before all this, he detained me as soon as he saw me in my truck he said get out and I did then I was like am i being detained he was like yes. He cant do that without any further cause...

So yeah I was arrested. Went to jail for 6 days and now I'm under 24/7 supervision for awhile, we believe their going to give me probation in another state...

Well, we have around 3 open DHS cases on her, then 2 more from other people we believe. But DHS hasn't visited her since ending of March, its May now. And their all open cases.

Now here's where things get interesting, this just happened, and is why I'm looking for help.

2 days ago she showed up to my house, freezing, wet, covered in grass. It was a 4 mile walk to out here, through the lake woods and all. I was so sad I let her in, got her my sweats and got her warm, held her, she explained what happened how they hurt her and she doesn't wanna be there, she showed me a bruise which is the size of a french fry, my friend and her said it was bigger, it's 4 days old, still blood red.

Her mother ended up showing up, we called the cops, but she was saying she doesn't wanna be there they hurt her they hit her they call her names and just wanted help... A Sheriff came in, I was in the other room then because the PO, my mother was with them, my Gf had said all I've said how they hurt her and call her names she doesnt wanna be with them shes scared and unhappy and some stories on how they hurt before.

So sheriff took her to the police car and then talked to us then talked to her parents. There was another sheriff here then, they pulled out a letter. They talked for like 30 minutes. Now before we continue, this family is highly manipulative, believable, looks normal but when you leave their house their evil and hitting her. They've lie to the POLICE (not sheriff) to think were Sex Traffickers, idk if they believe it just because "were from Arizona" and my mother said it was okay if my Gf wanted to live with us, when she ran away, if it was okay with the parents. So because of that they lie about some stuff.

My gf said to the sheriff how when the police come her parents make them goto the room and their never really questioned or get to talk that the police and her parents just get along... So now theres gonna be more DHS and police involved I guess.

Anyways, sheriff sent her back with the mom, said theres going to be in-house DHS counciling, police, and all. It's devestating because my GF absoloutely doesnt want to be with them, they seriously hurt her. They wont let her go with her real mom the sheriff said "THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE" in a loud voice, because the mother lied to them we think.

The letter the mother showed them was a letter, in short, saying "I'm running away to see (my name)" which ruined everything I think. Because cops said she didn't run away because they hurt her, which is WHY she did run away, she told me, but yes, she came to me to tell me first, she wanted help they do hurt her.

What can we do?!

I've made about a 6 page letter to the dad since theres no Protection Order from him...

Were not doing this just so we can see eachother, that's part of the reason, but they really hurt her she wants out.

I have just turned 17 and she has just turned 15, at the end of April and beginning of May.

When she came here she said her mother had said "Now I see why (cousins name) mother let her boyfriend move in."

Sounds like a pretty tough situation. I'll try to help some, but no matter how things go down, it sounds like things will probably get worse before they start to get better -

First, you really should make sure you know the law where you live. At 17 you can probably be tried as an adult if you break the law, and if you are in jail you can't help her at all.

You need to know what you can legally do to help - it may be that even being alone with her could get you in trouble, maybe even ending with you having to be on the sex offender's registry. At 15, she isn't old enough to legally consent to be with you in any state, and in many states all her parents need to prove is that you two were alone together, and they can press charges for molestation of a child. You don't want that on your record...

Also, you can help her by finding out what is legal for her to do. She may be legally able to leave home no matter what her parents say - it sounds like that's not the case from what you describe with the cops and the sheriff, but check anyway - sometimes law enforcement doesn't know the law as well as they think, and sometimes if YOU don't know the law, they just go with the easiest course of action (sending her home with her parents) even though she may be legally able to say No to going back.

That all depends on the state you're in.

Next I would get everything that's happened all sorted out and written down. There's a lot of information there, and some of it sounds difficult, or impossible, to prove, and some sounds as if it might be exagerrated. I'm not saying it is - but as a young person, if you want authority figures who can actually, legally help her get out of this situation, they are going to need to take you seriously, and they will need to believe you and her over her parents.

To make that happen, write down everything - and then start going through and pulling out those things you can prove, one way or another. Things you have actually SEEN or HEARD her mom do or say to her - things you can take pictures to prove - if there are any hospital or medical records - if someone else actually witnessed abuse - those are the things that are going to get someone's attention.

You aren't going to be able to get her out unless the authorities or the law are on her side - if the law says she cannot leave home legally, then they will simply keep taking her back. Until there is some kind of proof, or some way to convince the authorities she is in clear immediate danger, trying to get her out of there will only get you into some serious trouble. Even kidnapping is something they might charge you with.. it wouldn't be pretty.

I hear a lot about how you are trying to help her, but try to work within the system - get the information to the authorities. Don't get angry or aggresive with them, just be persistant. And keep on being persistant. If you bug them and bug them about how she is in danger and needs to be removed, eventually they will do something.

But be very, VERY sure about what you're doing, and make sure she is, too. I don't want to sound as if I don't believe this - that isn't the case - but if she is exaggerating about her parents refusing her food, hitting her, etc., and you follow this route, she may not just be allowed to move in with you - in fact, that is probably not going to happen at all unless/untill she is old enough to leave legally -

The authorities will remove her from her home and she'll be placed in the system - that means foster care. There is no telling where she may end up, it may be worse than what she is having to deal with now.

All of these are things that must be considered. But before all - please find out the law and make sure you don't go to jail for child molestation, kidnapping, etc. - you could end up with a permanent record, and some serious jail time. And make sure she knows what is going to happen - will foster care be preferable to where she is now? Foster families, for the most part, take good care of the kids - it's the rare exception to find one where the kids are abused - but it does happen.

So that's my advice - I know it's not what you would like to hear, but it's the only smart way to proceed. Make sure you know the law, and work within the law. Get all the facts straight, and then be persistant with them. If you stay calm and you have good, solid information with proof (if at all possible) - someone will listen to you, and then she will get help.

Be careful, and good luck!

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(Rating: 5) Thank you, there was no abuse, she lied about everything and I got in the middle of it. Lesson learned. :(
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