Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 33729
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I have a good friend. For the past few years we've been so close people thought we were dating. She's my "go to", but there is nothing sexual between us. She began dating someone a few weeks ago, and since then my friend and I are considerably less "intimate" than we were. We hang out less, talk less, etc. When I pointed this out to her and told her it made me feel left out, she told me I was making things "awkward", and she's pretty much cut me off almost completely. We live together, but now we have the minimum contact possible. What do you think is going on? What should I do? I don't want to give up on our friendship. FYI... we are both 40-something females. (link)
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I\'d say her \'awkward\' description is pretty up front and largely explains itself. It\'s the very early stages of a new relationship for her. A time when we\'re naturally eager to seek and gain each others approval and really pour out positives and make the very best impression we can. Putting him \'on hold\' as it were, even for a while, and giving the reason that it\'s because her female friend is feeling a little neglected is probably not a path she\'s keen to go down at this very formative (\'probationary\' even) stage of the relationship. You must admit it is somewhat awkward. You\'re relationship with her has obviously been a significant part of both your lives. And could continue to be so. But I\'d suggest taking a step back for a while and giving her plenty of freedom and space with her prospective new partner. And let the new/revised relationship dynamics develop between the three of you as they will. It\'s a sea-change, not necessarily the end. Unless she feels you are \'ruining things\' with him. In which case a choice and estrangement might well be on the cards. And right now the choice would most probably be in his favour. So don\'t force a showdown you\'re likely to lose. Adapt....let the relatinship evolveand you can all win.
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Rating: 5
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Your answer made complete sense to me. Thank you so much for giving me a different perspective.
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