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Gender: Female
Location: California
Occupation: Student
Age: 17
Yahoo: donthinderthemusic101@yahoo.com
Member Since: September 30, 2013
Answers: 11
Last Update: October 2, 2013
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Hi,
I'm a thirteen-year-old girl, and I hate my life for several reasons. I'm going to focus on just one reason right now so you don't have to read a super long question. This question is already long enough as it is with only one reason why I want to die.
One thing I should say is that I like girls. I just don't see guys in that way. I have a girlfriend too. She is my only reason to keep living right now.
Then another girl tricked me into cheating on my girlfriend. She lied to me to get me to do it. The fact is, I didn't even know what cheating was until this happened. After educating myself a little bit on what is and isn't acceptable, I realized what she had gotten me to do. Now I hate myself even more than I did before this happened.
I told the girl that I do not want to be a disloyal person. She told me again that what we were doing was not cheating, and I explained why it was actually cheating and why I didn't want to do it. She got all angry at me about it, and then she said that I had to tell my girlfriend.
But I talked to my mom about it, and she said that I shouldn't tell my girlfriend. She said I had already learned my lesson about cheating and realized that I had been lured into it. And she said that I would only hurt my girlfriend if I told her. So I decided that I would rather listen to my mom than the other girl.
After that, however, the other girl said that if I didn't tell my girlfriend, she would. This really stressed me out. My mom thinks I shouldn't tell my girlfriend, but if I don't, the other girl might tell her.
I can't believe how stupid I am. I don't have any common sense. I just want to die. I hate so many people right now -- especially myself. Besides, my girlfriend is my only reason to live anymore, and who knows what I would do if she broke up with me?
One thing I should add is that I have made plans before (you know, plans to kill myself), but they were ruined every time. And I have struggled on and off with cutting for a while now. If that helps anything.
P.S. I'm sorry for the length. And sorry that this didn't make any sense. (link)
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Okay, sweetheart. let me preface this with my own experience. I am bisexual, and was once a cutter. So I understand how you are feeling.
I firmly believe that most people cheat at least once. I've done it. And your mom is right, it really would hurt your girlfriend. But it is a lot better that she hear it from you, and not the other girl. You should sit down with your girlfriend and explain to her what happened, and how you were tricked. Then go on to say that you needed to be honest with her, and need her. I'm sure she knows of your self harm, and thoughts of suicide, so make sure to then mention that you feel really guilty about it, and it has made you very upset and led to more self harm and thoughts of suicide.
Everything will work out fine! :)
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