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< I am a Christian and I am a mother >
Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.

advice

So I met a guy and we've been talking a lot recently and he seems almost perfect to me with so many qualities that I haven't seen in other guys. the thing is, he just got out of a relationship and of course, now's not the time to push anything for him. And I'm not 100% sure I want to be in a relationship now either. But what scares me is that, he's asked me, jokingly to help him find himself a new girl and I've told him, let me know who and I'll make the arrangements (in a playful way). Of course I don't ever want him to tell me he likes someone. But I suspect that maybe he might. Or maybe I'm overthinking. He's 23 and I'm 21. (nothing wrong with age, there) But the girl I think he might like, she's 19 and really pretty and is a lot like me, in terms of personality, etc (to him) I believe she's more attractive than me, so that's where I lose my confidence. He asked me one day, what I thought of her and I could just say that she's okay and is nice. He went on to tell me a story about her dad not liking him but now he does...idk? But I never got to fully ask him if he does like her but I'm afraid to because if the answer is yes, I'll be devastated. I'm sure this guy will be a guy my whole family will love. That's what makes him even more better than the rest. He's also very talented and educated. Beyond me. But that's what I adore. I know he's very busy in his life right now where his talents are concerned but I feel like, if he really wanted to be with someone, he can.
I guess I'm saying, I want him to not like anyone else, only me but I don't want us to be together right now. Is that normal? How do I get myself to stop overthinking? Sorry if my message is all over the place but I'm frustrated, as you can probably tell.

I think you should be that great best friend who he confides in for now. It sounds like he's interested in the other girl but if anything ever becomes of it as his best friend who he tells his feelings to it will be you he runs back to everytime. I can see the other girl being a rebound if anything at all when when you are both ready to settle down I bet it will work out perfectly between the two of you. As you said you're not really ready for a relationship so just be a good CLOSE friend. Get the inside scoop on everything. Just be there for him. You can totally work this in your favor. When a guy is ready to settle he wants that good girl who was there for him through everything and never judged him. Not the girl he argued with and had issues with family and friends with. As for her looks. They last for only so long.

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(Rating: 5) thank you! haha this made me laugh. But actually, that is my exact plan. I just don't want to go through a wasted effort you know. He is genuinely a great guy and if I did happen to meet someone else down the line, I wouldn't mind just being friends with this guy. It's just that he's the only one I see at the moment. But thanks again, seems like you're on to my secret plan! >:)
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