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< I am a Christian and I am a mother >
Hello all. I am a 36 year old married mother of three boys. I have my degree in Forensic psychology and business management- human resources, I work in social services while juggling my three children and a marriage. When I originally joined this community I was excited to get back into what I love and that is helping people through listening, understanding, and guidance. However I quickly found that through my desire to help others, others are helping me. I have found my advice column beyond rewarding. I have found myself getting extremely passionate about each and every question that I read and respond to. The more the questions the greater the connection I have found between people of all walks of life, ages groups, races, gender, and religion. What I have found to be our greatest bind is love. Love for others and the love of being loved.

advice

I have a frickin' complex because of how my sister always manages to be the center of my dad's and his side of the family's attention. It's like they do their best to make me feel ignored and never shut up about her.

Saturday is my birthday and my dad wants my grandmother and probably my cousins to be there. I don't because it's the one day of the year when I'm the center of attention and can make my family do what I want, but not if they're there. They'll all be more interested in my sister and they'll probably try to change our plans. For example, my cousin will surely want to change the restaurant we're going to eat at from my favorite place to whatever rat hole she likes. They probably won't want to go to the movie I want to see after dinner and will take up so much of our time that we can't see it either.

I know this sounds mean, but I don't want them at my birthday. I don't want to spend my birthday with people with people who don't care about me and like it when I feel left out or unloved. Is this bad?

look, it's time you stood up to everyone. Tell them you are a person with feelings as well and your opinions and feelings, likes and dislikes matter as much as any one else including your sister. I would let them invite whom every they wish. You plan your party and stick to it. It's YOUR day! If they don't like it they can leave- win/win situation. perhaps they see you as a passive person who has no opinions and looks for others to make your decisions. I don't know, but if you don't say something it will only get worse and eat at you until you explode and lose it completely. You definitely need to have a conversation with your dad about who he treats you better than your sister. This just isn't right. He may just not realize it. He might have more in common with her who knows. But tell him how you feel sooner than later.

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(Rating: 5) Thanks. Everything you said has been working. Great advice!
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