Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 33743
|
| |
|
I have a boyfriend now but before I had him I talked to another guy. I liked that guy a lot but I let him down, lied to him, and said no to going out with him. Now he has a girlfriend. I really like him still and can't get him off of my mind. I'm hurt with thinking about how things with me and him ended. I can't stop blaming myself because it was my fault! He won't talk to me anymore and I just can't go on living like this with so much regret. I miss him and want him back. What should I do? Sorry this is so confusing I don't know how to put it into words... (link)
| |
Hi there. By not finding the words you've said everything. Reason and logic and good advice all seem to point one way...forget it. But sometimes all the reason and common sense in the world just isn't enough, eh? Was there maybe some connection, some affinity with this previous guy that you now realise is lacking with your current boyfriend? I assume he'd be far from your thoughts if not? You turned him down...we guys can get over that easily. Let him down, hurt him...maybe more difficult. Trust can be rebuilt, slowly and steadily, piece by piece if you both want to. You'll need to work hard, he'll need to work hard. And he's got a girlfriend. I'd say this all hinges on that connection, that feeling that drew you closer to him. If it was only on your side, then there's little chance of any reconcilliation. But such feelings don't easily exist in one party alone. If his current relationship doesn't match what he believed he'd found in you then there is indeed hope. What if he felt the same, misses and wants that connection as much as you do? Wouldn't that be worth fighting for? There's a self-control evident in your writing, such that I cannot easily dismiss this as 'wanting what you can't have.' Am I close to the truth? If I'm right then you must approach him, for your own peace of mind and maybe your own happiness. I'd suggest you make your feelings clear, and be content to leave the answer open a while. Don't press for an instant response, let him think it all over. In short, if he comes to you, he's yours...if he doesn't, then he never was. Without being dramatic (I hope!) a situation like this has, I think the power to hurt us as much as life CAN hurt us. Be strong. be patient. It might just be worth whatever it takes, and regret is hard to live with. It can spoil future happiness. My very best wishes whatever you decide, truly. CJB
|
|
Rating: 5
| |
Thank you so much! He defiantly doesn't and won't want to talk to me now (I already tried and it didn't go well), but atleast I can have in my mind that he might feel the same way I do right now. I guess I'll just wait and see what happens over time. I know what is meant to happen will.
|
|