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I know both my parents want the best of me but they're always so insulting and they're always comparing me to other children. I'm 20 years old and a college senior and for all I can remember, I've never heard my parents tell me they're proud of me. All my dad tells me is that I'm a disappointment. If not to my face, my parents still talk. My dad tell me I have a lazy mind with no motivation. Yet my dad says that I don't talk to him nor tell him what problems I'm facing. If they get mad at me over a specific situation, they never let it go. Every time I get another insulting lecture from my dad, the same situation is brought up. I got the courage once to tell him that he's so negative all the time to me but he turned it around to use it against me saying that because of my attitudes I am where I am today. I don't feel disappointed in myself personally but to them, I will always feel like one. Especially since I'm told straight up that I am a disappointment. I don't know what to do. How can I have a friendly father-daughter relationship if this is what he says about me? My family loves to talk about other people's families and their faults during their normal family conversations but yet they can't focus on their own. I'm not saying I'm completely right but I really don't feel the change has to start with me. I always function better in a positive environment with support from my loved ones and I can't even get that. I feel like I'm expected to be a perfect child just the way they see other people's children. Surely no family is perfect but I'm sure other parents don't tell their children half of what I'm told. Not only am I a disappointment, I have a bad attitude, bad facial expressions, and I'm spoon-fed too much. Once when my face was breaking out due to school and exam stress and just having acne issues, I was severely insulted by my mom saying that I must like to look that way since I obviously don't care about my face that that my mom would have been afraid to show her face in public if hers looked like mine with the acne. My biggest fear is that I would screw up badly and have them shut me out completely but it seems like everything I do will always cause an issue. I feel so much more comfortable in public when my dads not with me, like if my family decides to go to church and whatnot because he always scrutinizes everything. I sing regularly and he always has negative remarks. If I happen to sing decently to his standards, he won't say anything. Either that or he's just given up on the remarks of that day. I don't want to lose respect for my parents, especially my father. But I haven't ever felt close to him. He always thinks he understands everything and knows better than everyone else and it's just overwhelming to deal with. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. Please help me someone. Im literally crying my eyes out while writing this. Thank you. (link)
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Honey i hate to say it but your parents sound like insensitive ass holes. If no one else tells you, you have a bad attitude and teachers and peers seem to have no problem with you, most likely you don't have a bad attitude your parents are just ass holes. What your mom said about your acne is just cruel and unnecessary.
First of all get support, you seem like a sweet heart and you need to be around people that appreciate you and support you. Second of all tell mom and dad that their lack of support is driving you away from them. Tell them you would like to have more support and less criticism from them. If they continue to be rude and not listen then work on getting out of that situation!
So it seems like you are almost out of school where you can be in position to support yourself right? This is what i suggest, I suggest you try to level with them. If it doesn't work get a job, and start saving! Get out of there as fast as you can!!!!!! There are good people in the world that will love and appreciate you. Get to a point of financially supporting yourself and get away from your ass hole parents as fast as you can.
Your dad sounds like a narcissist and your mom doesn't sound much better so leave them alone with so they can tear each other down. You don't deserve this. Maybe after they have scared you out of their lives they will come to their senses and stop behaving like this.
I'm so sorry and i wish you the best of luck. Stay strong and don't let them make you feel bad about yourself. Work hard and make your life good. You can't control what they do. IF they want to be unhappy rude bigots fine you make the decision not to live like that. You decide to be a bigger better person. Stay strong and get support when you need it. It's out there, good people are everywhere.
Best wishes :)
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Rating: 4
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Thank you for your input. I wouldn't necessarily call them insensitive assholes but I really don't believe my parents know how to "talk" to their children and it makes me hard to "talk" to them too. I know its too late for them and for me to learn and I've definitely focused my energy on doing what I need to do to make it out there and get out of this. Thanks again.
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