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Q: My friend is obsessed with a guy who isn't interested, like at all. She is really obsessed with him and is always stalking him on fb or counting how many times he blinks in class. She thinks he's in love with her but they font even speak and he has a girl friend. always says how she hates herself and has. Started drinking/taking 5 Panadol at a time and even self harming. I am rely worried about her and I love her to pieces but I have other friends too and I can't spend 24hrs a day telling her she's perfect, that's not fair on them or me. I really want to help her though! I've convinced her to jo to a councillor but it isn't helping...what do I do?!! Age:14 gender:female
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Well the worst thing to do for a person who self harms is suggest they get help.I self harms also,and have been doing it for three years.My friends have suggested I get help like you did and that just makes things worst.
Try understanding why she hates herself.Just be there for her.When she needs someone to talk to be there.Right now she is more important than your other friends.Self harm is a life or death situation.You want to help her but you have to go about doing it the right way.Dont just tell her to stop,because that will make it worst.
Learn more about self harm.Once you look more into it you can start to understand why we do it.But whatever you do dont judge her.Be there to support her feelings.Encourage her to talk to you about how she feels.
Hope it helps.
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I know you mean well, but would you ask an alcoholic just to talk about how they feel while they are killing themselves? I have read more about self harm since I posted this and discovered that the reason they treat self harm like cutting as an addiction is because you become addicted to the endorphins (natural drugs) that your brain makes when you get injured.
So people who self harm are drug addicts, just addicted to the drugs their own body makes. Sadly, this also means that like other drug addicts, they won't get help until they are almost dead, or you force them into rehab. I printed everything out and gave it to her parents and they are getting her help finally.
I hope that this makes sense to you and that you will better understand why you are addicted to cutting. People who drink themselves blind are self harming, drug addicts are self harming... all because of the same emotional problems. My friend and you just have a different drug you chose to help you cope with things. I think everyone does this in some way or another. I get into bad relationships over and over again because I don't feel worthy or good enough and that is how I self harm. I am getting help for that now, after reading what you wrote and looking things up you helped me to understand that just like you cut, I hurt myself in another way. I hope you talk with someone about why you hurt yourself. talking with friends doesn't work!
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Info
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Gender: Female Location: Illinois Age: 16 Member Since: August 1, 2011 Answers: 52 Last Update: September 22, 2014 Visitors: 4367
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