Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35223
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So My boyfriend and I have been going through a hard time right now due to him cheating and us fighting all the time because I lost trust in him and he is doing nothing to gainit back. Anyways we were fooling around in bed last night and he started going "down there" I told him I didnt want to have sex at the moment he got mad at me right away and stormed off. When I went to talk to him he went on and on about how he doesnt feel loved anymore. I told him the reason I didnt want to or couldnt have sex was I, getting me monthly. He didnt even give me a chance earlier to explain that to him....I wasnt intending we stop fooling around just couldnt have sex but I could of done other but he didnt give me a chance. He just got mad and said whatever I dont like your shitty attitude and went back to bed and rolled over. I was quite upset but I am tired as it was after midnight and I have to be up by 5am for work so I fell asleep. Awhile later I slowly woke up to the bed shaking....he was laying there masturbating beside me and getting mad and sighing because i wasnt doing anything. I was so hurt by the way he acted earlier with such disrespect how could he think I would at all be interested in "taking care" of him hours later....this was around 3am! He started trying to force me to do it but I just pulled away and told him that his attitude towards me earlier hurt me and I dont think he is being too respectful now as to expect me to take care of him I am not just a skank I am supposed to be his love.....and there was no emotion, no apology nothing. Anyways he got the hint got pissed off again and said I should find another guy cause hes not for me.....I fell back asleep. We didnt talk much this morning he glared at me a few times trying to act tough and like nothing was bothering him. I was so tired and had enough I just got ready for work and got my son ready as well.
So what Im wondering about is how should I take his actions? Do I have a right to be upset? Please I need help.....I feel like he thinks of me more as a sex object for his needs more than anything. He is always talking/flirting/texting other girls and so on...he seems to be never satisfied with just me. Ive even caught him on dating sites this is why I dont trust him and I am finding it hard being close to him and with him acting this way it makes me feel unwanted and unloved. Please help! (link)
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First, take responsibility for still being with a guy who cheated on you. Short of leaving him, which is what you should do if you have any dignity, your complaints are rather empty.
"I feel like he thinks of me more as a sex object"
Clue alert! Men see women primarily as sex objects while women see men as economic objects. It's the way of the world, it's the way nature makes us, deal with it!
Okay, about the masturbation: married people do it all the time. Nothing wrong with it. Generally speaking, as long as the guy isn't screwing around on you and is attending to your sexual needs then his masturbating is not an issue.
Now about your relationship: it seems like neither of you has enough empathy, knowledge of how relationships work or personal maturity to make this work. He shouldn't have forced you to give him a handy or demanded you have sex with him while you were on your period. By the same token, though, men have high sex drives and if you don't do something about that he will seek people who will, you know what I'm saying? You could have ratcheted up your hotness factor by OFFERING to use your hand on him since you weren't available for intercourse. But you were so self centered that thought never crossed your mind.
My advice: end this farce that is your relationship, learn from your mistakes, grow up, find another guy and treat him well.
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Rating: 1
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I take care of my man usuall everyday when on my period. It was the fact of the situation at the time if u read my message! I am not self centered he gets taken care of more than I do! And I DONT care if he masturbates or watches porn I just cared at this specific moment when we were arguing and he showed me no respect. Before you bash u should know the details. And I know men see women as sex objects im not stupid!!! But its how he treats me at other times of the relationship that makes me feel this way. I do treat him VERY good. I screw him everday usually more than once! I buy him trucks and whatever he wants, cook, clean do everything for him so dont say I need to find another guy and treat him good i give all of myself to whoever I am with and deserve it in return!
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