Thank You In Advance For Reading My Story, Giving Me Advice, etc. I apologize if it sounds like I'm whining but I really want to know why I am the way I am and how to better myself.
Hi , I'm a 16 yr old girl. I never kissed a guy, been on a date , hung out alone with a guy or been in a relationship. I don't go to parties, sneak out or hang out late. I don't feel like I do normal teenager things and even my mom complains that I'm being antisocial. I have been to three different high schools and in my current high school, unlike the previous two, I have almost no friends. I hide during lunch because sitting at a lunch table alone as a Senior is just too unbearable. I talk to no one in class unless I am forced to. (I do clubs and activities outside of school and I get along with the other teens there great so why not at school?) I can't figure out what has gone wrong with my life. Guys try to talk to me on the street and I ignore them, even if I think they are cute. If guys try to make eye contact, I look the other way. If I see guys approaching me , I try to take a detour , going into a store until they pass or crossing the street. Guys who I've like at one point and even gotten the courage to talk to, I always chicken out of plans or tell them I am too busy for a relationship. This one guy who liked me tried to kiss me repeatedly and even though I wanted nothing more than to kiss him, I would always back away and make excuses. My friend wanted to hang out but I've only hung out with her in group settings so I lied and told her I was busy. I mean what if we hung out and guys approached us, and I couldnt handle the situation? I see my younger cousins running around with really good looking guys, asking me for relationship advice and I would always have to lie. What do I know? I can't pin point my fears . I want to be social, and hang out with people. I want to have a relationship. I want to kiss and get my heart broken and call someone baby. But I just can't . I'm afraid. I panic sometimes.I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. At this rate it's possible. What do I do?
Thanks again, my fears are ruining my life. Ps I have no money for a therapist.
In the future, you're going to have to do things that you just flat out do not want to do. Like for example working with someone you don't like and being forced to be nice. Or cleaning out bathrooms. It's the same thing here. School, is preparing you for the future. It's okay to be shy. It's okay to be shy around boys. But, I would say it wasn't okay to lie. You need to have some respect for yourself and that is the first step I need you to work on. Step on respect and love yourself. Put some make up on. Turn music on in your room and dance around like an idiot. You work first on making yourself happy. Next, once you have some confidence, which you can easily fake, and then later aquire, be social. It is okay to talk to new people. People do get shy and that's normal. If you want friends, be social. Be polite. Compliment someone on somethhing. "You have cute shoes." "You're really good at drawing." Start up a conversation. Don't overdo it, but be friendly. Eventually, once you open up you'll feel the shy feelings slowly leave.
Boys. I am PROUD of you. It is OKAY to not be rushing with boys. Stay innocent as long as you can! Just becaues everyone else is doing "it" doesn't mean you have to as well. Do remember, that sex was meant for making babies. It isn't a fun activity that boys like to do. Well, it is, but that's not what it's for. You don't want a baby right now. I have two children and I am 19 years old. And I've struggled since I got pregnant. It's challenging, terrifying, intimidating and time consuming. Hold on to your youth with a tight grip and don't you dare let go.
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Thank you so much for your advice. You telling me about your struggle, made me realize that theres a bigger picture and i need to stop worrying/rushing the boys situation and focus more on myself.
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