I have dealt with many emotional and psychological issues both personally and in my career. I've gone thru emotional, verbal and sexual abuse, severe depression, therapy, emotional hospitalization, sexual addiction diagnosis, divorce and suicidal ideations. So I've been there, I'm a healthy person now and in a healthy relationship. But I've definately learned from the School of Experience and I'd love to be able to help others with the knowledge that all that has brought me. I'm not judgemental but I will be very frank if with my OPINIONS.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Registered Nurse
Age: 34
Member Since: September 28, 2012
Answers: 39
Last Update: October 15, 2012
Visitors: 5610
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im 18 f
where to even begin... before i was dating my bf that im dating right now (lets call him x), me and this other guy( lets call him y) were together. he was really good to me, he treated me so well and liked me a lot but last new years we were at a party and y was very clingy so i ignored him until he left the party and instead i hooked up with x. y still really liked me but i didnt feel the same way about him at the time. about 2 months later me and x started dating and by that time me and y didnt even talk anymore. me and x had a great summer together, we went camping with our friends and had the best time and we got to know each other so much better. because we didnt start just as friends we went from not really knowing each other to dating. that summer i really fell inlove with x. but i saw him always talking to this girl on his phone and i never really asked him about her but it bugged me because i never really knew they were friends or even talked before. about a month ago me and y started talking again because we work together, and one night after work we sat on our cars and talked till 2 in the morning. but it wasnt y trying to break me and x up or y trying to impress me, we were strictly being just friends, and over the next few weeks we hung out and we became really good friends and i really realized how much i missed him. one night there was a work party that we were both at and i realized that the feelings i originally had for him were still there and even tho i still love x, y means alot to me still too. and that night he told me that he misses me and really likes me. he told me he will do anything for me and he respects my relationship with x but he wanted me to know that he would make me his everything. it really tore me and at the same time me and x were developing problems. it feels like x is taking me for granted and that he doesnt appreciate me, i have to ask him to have sex with me and sometimes he doesnt even want to, like it doesnt bother me that much but it sucks when i get blown off for sex. other things are that when we have sex he wont kiss me or make out with me while having sex with me :( it makes me feel like a hooker that he doesnt want to "make love" to but only to fuck. and he normally doesnt usually kiss me or make out with me on a daily basis. and when we do have sex he doesnt let me take my clothes off :( jsut pull my pants down and thats it. and y is making it seem that i deserve so much more and would make me feel appreciated. but me andx have been together for almost a year now and i love his friends and i love his family :( what do i do? :( im so lost it sucks. (link)
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Oh girl.... Dump the x..... Nothin in the world can ever take place of love making and if y is giving you a second chance you better jump on it and never take it for granted again.
But, don't just dump x and jump back in bed with y. Here is why.... Y likes you and right now he may think he's over the fact that you broke his heart but there may still be some trust issues you need to work thru. Try taking the physical love making off the table for a few months and focus on the relationship. (The trust, respect, love, attraction, etc.)
You see men fall in two different catagories, they either see you as a potential mate and they are ready to settle down OR they see you as a play mate and they don't want to be exclusive. If you begin the relationship as the later, you will never be able to conveince your man that you are the former. You want a man to "make-love" with you, you have to have a love connection. That takes a relationship men who are only looking to be play mates will not make that sort of emotional investment.
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