Hello. My name is Harley. I have a well-recorded history of not being complete shit at advice, and am particularly good with mental health, most kinds of relationships, and LGBTQ+ issues.
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Location: Canada
Member Since: September 8, 2012
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Last Update: June 23, 2015
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So i've been in love with my best friend for about a year now, and he has a girlfriend. they've been together for almost 6 months now. he always tells about how he wishes it would've been me he'd made a move on, instead of her but now he has to stay with her because he doesn't want to hurt her (or atleast break up with her for me) at this point he is always with her, and she hates me (jealousy issues) so he can never talk to me when he's with her so we don't get to talk near as much as i'd like. I've been trying to get over him for sometime but it's hard because of how close we've always been. So at this point, I'm not sure if i should stop talking to him for awhile (to give myself some time to get over him-pretty much give up on wanting to be with him) or if i should just leave it alone, and let whatever happens, happen. I really don't want to stop talking to him, i think it'd be really hard for me. and i never want us to stop being friends i just want to know what would be best for now. maybe we can end up together in the future, or something...i'm just sick of hurting because he is with her, and i've wanted him for so long..I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years and i just moved to a new city, and i have no friends and don't know how to make any...so dating another guy isn't an option at the moment.
any advice helps, thank you very much C:
-18 female (link)
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Get away from him. Right now.
You're in love with a guy you can't be with, and being close to him all the time probably isn't helping your feelings. You're hoping for something that isn't going to happen, and if it does, odds are it's not going to work. He's incapable of breaking up with someone and making himself happy because he doesn't want to hurt the person he's with. Because he feels trapped, he resents her, and she resents you because she thinks you're taking him away from her. He'll end up hurting everyone close to him in the long run.
You getting away may actually help things. If you leave, he may resent his girlfriend more. That extra push may force them to either talk it out or break up. Or maybe it won't have any effect, or maybe it'll all just get worse for them.
None of that matters because you need to do this for yourself. You're only hurting yourself by being close to him. Let me repeat that for emphasis. YOU'RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF BY BEING CLOSE TO HIM.
So, get away. Make friends. Volunteer for something you're interested in. Get a job somewhere. Get out of the house and do something you like to do. Friends will come. Just give it time. And good luck!
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Rating: 5
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So bacically just completely stop talking to him?
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