I am currently a student. My major is psychology. I want to have my own business a therapist. I have been through alot of abuse and trauma. I am in recovery. I love helping people. I am a trsainer in two types of therapy. I have trained both staff and clients of a mental health agency. I was on a human rights board. I attend conferences on human rights. I also sat on a public policy board for a mental health agency. I spoke out at rallies and at legistraters breakfasts.
E-mail: christinacordes@charter.net
Gender: Female
Location: Massachusetts
Occupation: student
Age: 35
Member Since: August 24, 2012
Answers: 6
Last Update: September 2, 2012
Visitors: 2752
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Abusive Relationships
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Tonight, my girlfriend of 4 months has told me that she doesn't deserve to date me. She has had some rather rough relationships where abuse (not physical but mental abuse) was involved. She also has the genital herpes STD, and she's not a virgin either and I'm still one. We are both 26 years old as well. But anyways, when she told me this, I did feel hurt and even angry that she would say this to me. Now usually like every month, she talks about her past. However, its getting to a point where her complaining about her past is beginning to frustrate me. Now I haven't gone through the things in my life that my girlfriend has gone through. Often it can be hard for me to help her too. We did date for a while back in 2010 for about 4 months, but we broke up because at the time she was very clingy to me which I hated and I had issues going on with my life back then too. We got back together in the spring of this year and said we would try to have a better relationship. I want to keep that going, but the fact that she often complains about her past is something that bothers me and I won't tolerate it much longer. What should I do? Also, she lost her grandfather in September of last year and her grandmother recently passed away too. Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you. (link)
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I think The best thing to do is to ask her if she has a therapist. If she doesn't, explain to her how you feel about her and that you don't know how to support her through this difficult time. A therapist can process her feelings around her past and help her to understand herself, and help her cope with what's happening to her. To me, it seems she has low self-esteem due to her past. That can be one reason why she feels she doesn't deserve to be with you. Try not to blame yourself for the things she said. If shes opening up to you about her past. It is because she trusts you. good luck
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Rating: 5
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I've tried to get her to go to counseling and at times she did, but it's very hard for her to talk about her past to people she doesn't know.
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