Gender: Male
Location: Currently in Sao Paulo, Brazil
Occupation: Graduate School/EFL Teacher
Age: 23
Member Since: May 20, 2012
Answers: 32
Last Update: July 5, 2013
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Can someone please help me, I have been really depressed for the past couple years, im 16 years old im really poor I have a dad who hits my mom, im 230 pounds ive been joining sports to lose weight( not working) my girlfriend cheats on me. I get into fights, I have hardly no friends, i have an anger problem and i pick fights with my dad. Lately after I found out my gf has been cheating on me, my depression has hit an all time high, I have been alienating my self from everyone for the past month. I had been having really bad suicidle thoughts lately, but I cant get myself to do it. Im not afraid to die, its just thought of how im going to die. Is there an afterlife, im I going to hell if I kill myself, will anybody care?. I just need someone to help me, because I have been driving myself crazy lately and im afraid I might do something ad. Can someone help me? (link)
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There are a lot of things to address here, but firstly let me say that suicide is not the answer.
If your dad is abusive towards your mother you can report it to a school counselor or teacher. While it won't necessarily fix the situation, they should be able to give you some advice. Try talking to your mom and really express how much it affects you. There are probably reasons (valid or not) why she stays with an abusive man. If it's money she's worried about, offer to get a part time job to help out. If she's just scared of being alone, reassure her that you'll be by her side if she decides to split up with him. She ultimately has to make the decision to leave him or seek counseling, but you can help her make that decision.
If your girlfriend cheats, you need to leave her. A relationship is about trust and communication. Cheating is probably the worst type of betrayal. It makes you feel worthless, and at times it can seem like there is no way out. However, if you let her abuse you emotionally, are you all that much different from your mother? Breaking up can be difficult, and it will suck at first. Sometimes you just have to break away and let the healing process begin. I promise you will get over her. It might take weeks, months, or even a year, but one day you'll be walking down the street and realize that you haven't even thought about her in a while, and you will be much better off at that point.
Losing weight can be difficult. It takes commitment. Counting calories is ultimately the easiest way to lose weight. It essentially comes down to calories in to calories out. I would try to focus on consuming no more than 2200 calories a day with at least 30 minutes of physical exercise every day. You will want to lower your caloric intake after a while to under 2000, but at your current weight, that should be fine. Weigh yourself every week or two. Don't do it every day or you might not see consistent improvements which can be discouraging.
At 16 you have a lot of changes in your near future. You will either be looking at college or entering the work force within the next couple years, and that could take your life in a much more positive direction. Things can suck in high school. People are mean, even cruel. You want more freedom, but parents seem to hold on even tighter. On top of this, you have hormones going crazy in your brain which can cause you to feel like you have no control at times.
Life is short enough as it is. Your current situation won't last forever, and the sooner you decide to do something about it, the sooner you can be on your way to a brighter future. Ultimately don't worry so much about the friends, girlfriends, and parents. It's your life and you should try to be the person YOU want to be. When you can reach a point where you truly love yourself, other things will start to fall into place.
Good luck. Take care. And keep in touch.
-Sam
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Rating: 5
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Thank you sam so much. ill ask my mom for us two to go to a therapist or counselor. Im still working out on how to break it off with my girlfriend, itll take time but ill find the courage. Thank you, you help me alot.
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