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Q: I dated a guy when I was 16. We dated for 2 years breaking up once and then getting back together. He was my first for everything (bf, kiss, make-out, sex) and no doubt I was absolutely in love with him. I had a rebound boyfriend a few months after (which only lasted like 3 months) and then was single for about a year because I knew I had to be. I'm now almost 20 and in a relationship and its been about 6 months and I love this guy but in a different way than I did my ex. He's so sweet to me and I love him but I just don't feel the way I felt about my ex. I wanted to know is there a different feeling you get from your first then the rest of your boyfriends? I love the relationship I'm in now but I don't want to be unfair if something important is missing. My ex is in a relationship now, but still. I just can't stop thinking about it. I'm just so confused. Please help.
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Young love is always more intense because you're young and having first brush experiences with everything. It's like the first time I saw the movie "Scream". It was a packed theater and everyone was jumping yelling and screaming. Now, a billion sequels later and too many showings on daytime TV, I don't pay it much mind.
The truth is, you have matured enough to know you should have stayed single, and there is nothing wrong with the dude you have now. You may feel a little less "rush" because of what I just said or maybe because there is less conflict with him in your normal life. My advice is (and it's probably way different) that you are 20 years old. When I was 20 I was awesome (still am) I played in a band, went to different cities, really chased my passion. Along the way, I met a lot of girls, dated a few and kept moving with myself in mind. Now, after a few bumps along the way, I am where I want to be and it's awesome.
I think people are afraid to be alone. There is a freedom in being single. Is it lonely? If you let it be. The truth is love... real love will come when you don't worry about it. When you are confident in yourself that's when you are open to someone who is attracted for you for who you are, not just if you're single and have some shit in common.
You can date (you're still young I recommend it so you can find what you like.) You can even have a boyfriend if you want to give someone the title. You don't have to feel the need to settle down though just because. When you give someone the title of being your boyfriend, it means you're giving them your loyalty, love isn't necessarily always in the mix. It doesn't always have to be. I say it's ok to be a little selfish. Better to discover what you want than regret it later.
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bio
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Full time Jerk. Part time writer, adventurer.
I get drunk and answer your questions with the cold truth.
It saves lives.
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Info
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Website: E-mail: Gender: Male Location: TEXAS Occupation: Writer/Adventurer Member Since: January 3, 2009 Answers: 129 Last Update: November 2, 2014 Visitors: 14295
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