Gender: Female
Member Since: January 4, 2012
Answers: 235
Last Update: November 12, 2015
Visitors: 11379
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I'm a 27 yr old attractive female. I'm smart and I have a loving family. I have thought about killing myself since I was 13. I now live in a new city with my fiance, but I know no one here, I'm so lonely and becoming so needy and therefore unhappy. It's not that I was to die so much as I cant go on this way. I don't know if I'm strong enough to pick up the pieces on my own. My fiance says he loves me (he really is the love of my life) but where is he? I don't know, out drunk with his friends somewhere. So, I know it seems ridiculous but remember, I have been thinking this way for 14 yrs, I've thought a lot about it. Any way I can do this somewhat painlessly and not end up in a hospital with brain or organ damage? Please help me (link)
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There is no simple painless way to commit suicide. It's as plain and simple as that. You have people who love you, think about how much pain you would put them through if you did commit suicide. They might even blame themselves for it, and that's something they would have to live with for the rest of their lives. You have so much to live for and so much more time left. Moving to a new place is hard, especially if you don't know anybody around there. You could talk to your neighbors or go out or join a community group where you meet other people. You'll feel better once you make a few friends and start adjusting to the new environment. Also, you don't have to do this on your own. You need to talk to your fiance. He probably doesn't understand what you're going through, but if you talk to him about some of this, it will probably make you feel a little better. Tell him that you feel like he isn't around enough. (Also, if he's going out with his friends, maybe you could ask him to introduce you to any of their girlfriends or something). This is the kind of thing that can make your relationship stronger. I understand how hard it is to keep moving on after considering suicide. But look how far you've made it since then. In those 14 years, you've become stronger from not going through with it. One song that really inspires me and keeps suicidal thoughts out of my head is Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson. You should really take the chance to listen to the song and really take in the lyrics. If you are still having suicide thoughts, please call 1-800-273-8255. I hope this helps and stay strong :)
If you are concerned about the people that love you, then it's not the right thing to do. If you can't talk to your fiance, then try talking to some of your family. Maybe you could try to organize a trip to go back and visit them. You're going to need somebody's help. Your family is another great way to get support. They can remind you the reasons why you've held on for such a long time. I'm sorry if this isn't the answer that you want, but stuff like this is all you're going to get on this website.
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Rating: 3
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The only reason I haven't done it yet is because I am concerned about the people that care for me. And my fiance doesn't understand this, we've talked about it and know I need counseling but we cant afford it. I'm really just so sad and tired of all of this.
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