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My boyfriend and I were in a 6 year relationship before he passed away. A couple weeks after his passing I found out he was cheating on me with another women. I don't know much of what went on between them because he's not here to ask him. I don't know how long they had the relationship but it seemed from the messages I read it was pretty serious. I'm confused and I feel stupid because I thought we were perfect and nothing was wrong. What am I supposed to do? I'm grieving and the same time I hate him. I look at all the pictures of us and all I think of is him being a liar; I'm disgusted and disappointed in him. What do I do? How should I go about this? How should I feel? Female, 24 (link)
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This is a tough one. Not only are you grieving for a loss of a person but also for the loss of a relationship at the same time. I think you need to be able to move on, but you need a few answers to do that properly. Can you contact the other woman to ask her some questions? Or what about a friend of his that may have more information about the affair? The point is not to go picking fights but to find a way to get some closure. Think about this for a second. If you could contact the other woman what would you ask her? What could she say that would make you feel better? Can she make you feel better at all? Will you be better off after talking to her, or worse? Answer those questions to yourself before you take any action. If you conclude you would be better off contacting her, send a message and explain who you are and what you want. Don't get angry or defensive..you are trying to heal and your boyfriend was the cause of this pain, not the other woman. Sadly, he's not here to take your anger out on, but that doesn't mean you'll never have peace. You may not get all the answers you want but there may be something that can bring you some peace, so go to her with that attitude. I hope you find something that can help move you forward in all of this. If its an option at all, see about seeing a therapist for a little bit to help you sort through all these conflicting feelings. It will help. Good luck.
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Rating: 5
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Thank you I was thinking of talking to her but wasn't sure whether I should and I'm not the type of person who would pick a fight, so I think I can go into this trying to find answers for me to heal. Thanks yiu
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