Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35263
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General question...
We fought a lot, we werent even "together" but couldve... anyway, we were both mad at each other, now he doesnt e mail... he didnt reply..
i feel i missed who i thought he was...
do guys mean what they say when they say they dont care, do they really NOT care? or like girls, do they still think of what couldve happened, what is she thinking...
why do girls think a LOT about situations, and guys seem to dont care as much?
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Xenolan has it about right. If you want to really get down to brass tacks and know where he is, you're going to have to sit down and talk with him.
Just as a bonus on this question, though, let me say this: most guys, especially teenage boys, don't really know how to argue with women. Women are a lot more verbal because that is how they bond, through a lot of verbal disclosure to their girlfriends. Guys bond by doing stuff together and we don't talk about our feelings. So what that does is create an environment where men and women talk past each other when they argue, which increases the frustration both parties feel and it leads to a kind of vicious cycle.
And, in your case, both of you are rampantly immature and insecure, which further inhibits rational or satisfying discussion. So you will need to directly tell him what it is you want out of your relationship with him. Guys generally say what they mean (except when they are running for political office or are engaged in some kind of business transaction, then it is bullshit ho!). But when they feel cornered by the way women argue than you get kind of empty non-statements like, "whatever," or "I don't care" as a way to feel back in control since men are dominance oriented and don't want to be shown up by women.
Don 't try to read his mind because when women attempt to do that they tend to believe that guys think like girls do, which they don't.
So when you talk to him, don't corner him, don't emotionally blackmail him, don't call him names and accuse him of being a bad guy. Draw him out step by step, really listen to what he is saying, take it at face value and then speak in bullet points: "I am hoping for this out of a relationship with you, what do you think?" and that sort of thing.
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Rating: 5
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You re definitely the voice of reason!! thank you for clearing it up and giving me words of wisdom, i will remember that when talking to guys!! Oh btw, he is 38 and he i think some teenagers are more sensible to talk to than him! hahaha I should just learn to trust and its his fault if he lies etc, at least i know i am telling the truth and i didnt take advantage of anyone!!
have a great day! thank you for the time!!!
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