Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35274
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I am 19 and I've dated 2 guys. Technically, just one because the second didn't last very long. My first boyfriend I was very close to. We had problems but we were very fond of each other, went out for almost a year. I was 18 when we were together. When it comes to dating, I don't want to just date around for the fun of it, I want to pick someone worth being with, worth actually having a future with. The problem is, I don't really know guys like that. Also, the problem is that I'm not going to just date anybody. Religion and culture is very important to me because I was raised in such a family. It is of importance to me, so don't think it's not. I find myself attractive to guys of my same culture and religion as well, because it plays such a huge role in my life. The thing is with the guy I dated, he is of a family that holds my religion and culture, but he's not religious. Also, I am going off to either grad school or med school. I would like to be with someone of that educational standard. I mean, it's only fair to him and to me. These are just preferences, but I don't want to be the girl who has the secret love affair with the mailman, if you know what I mean. My first ex wants to go off to the airforce, and I am not holding him against it. My question is basically, should I hold on to him and forsake what I want in a guy? Or should I wait and further progress my life in the direction I want it to go in and then worry about finding the right guy? I am also not the kind of girl who has guys hitting on her all the time, so it's not easy for me to put myself out there. What should I do? (link)
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There is a book I want you to read:
"Escape from Freedom" by Erich Fromme.
You are basically voluntarily imprisoning yourself inside of a cage created by your religion and culture, which greatly limits your possibilities in life. Moreover, it fosters an "us against them" mindset that causes things like wars and terrorism. And the primary motivation for you being so xenophobic/ethnocentric is fear.
Listen kiddo, there are seven billion people in this world, each with his/her own sensibility, and everything is becoming increasingly globalized. Those who can't or refuse to adapt to diversity are going to be in for a rough ride down the line.
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Rating: 2
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Thanks but I already know that I can choose to be with whomever. It's not my religion holding me back, it's myself and my decisions. I'm not afraid to be with someone outside of my culture because if I truly wanted to fight for it, I would. You completely ignored my question, hence your low rating.
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