Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35278
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As a teenager, I always hung out with guys more than girls. Though I was never overly attractive, but I always seemed to be the only girl or one of 2 girls out a few geeky guys in a group. I never focused on dating through high school and it didn't become until the spring semester of my first year in college did I get into my first relationship
This relationship, just happened to be with a friend that I knew casually since I was in 7th grade, so figure we go back.. a good 6 years and now we we are dating. We were on and off for 2 1/2 years, he was the love of my life, took my virginity and everything from me, though he constantly cheated and are dating. We were on and off for 2 1/2 years, he was the love of my life, took my virginity and everything from me, though he constantly cheated and lied to me, rarely spent any money on me..I still gave him chances to fix things and chances to make me happy. We haven't spoken since June, but I still love him with everything I got. Always will no matter what.
During our on and off, I started hanging with a co-worker from work. Though we were just friends.. we cuddled and times when we would spend the night together, he would wrap his arms around me..or he would take mine and wrap them around his. We only slept together twice, casual we felt aroused not the "I want you so badly" type. I never had emotion while sleeping with him, as I knew I didn't love him like I loved my ex. My so-called best friend stole this guy from me.. and he and I ended up having a falling out as he tried to hide and lie to me about this.. a few weeks after this had al exploded, he had moved across the country in October 2010. He texts me and facebooks me, tells me how much he loves and misses me.. and how cute we were together.. here and there, everytime I get upset over this.. because I liked him..and he messed with my head always cuddling with me, then went behind my back and dated my so-called best friend.. then tells me how he loves me, and how he messed up? I no longer feel the need to constantly talk to him every single day, like we used to when he was living here...it's starting to get quite fustrating.
After my friend co-worker had moved away, I started to talk to a different guy I used to work with before I transferred stores, we exchanged numbers..and texted and spoke on the phone for hours on end. We would hang out a lot, drive around, kiss and hold hands. He'd buy me food and come visit me on my breaks, he got me to open up and it made feel really good that I could trust someone again. We talked about so many things in life while i was iffy about the whole thing. The problem was.. he was 31, while I was only 20. We had a fall out, because he is a player..and some chick decided to pick up his phone and tell me off.. and drama started to flow through my old work place..and my current workplace since day one when someone saw us together
I then moved away for seven months, had the time of my life.. talked to guys.. hung out.. went to dinner once with a guy, never held hands or kissed anyone while I was gone.. When I came home, I found myself talking to the too -old-for-me guy again, as friends.. though I had no intentions to dealing with the drama.. it was nice to catch up..we hung out twice..and in texts he would tell me that if it wasn't for the age difference, we would be together...yes that hurt, but I had no intentions on being friends again.. let alone date him. Yet again things fell apart, when I decided to mess with his head and make him think that I wanted him when I didn't.. and he called me stupid and told me that he had a girl and i just didn't get it. we stopped talking..Am I happy? Oh very. I couldn't deal with the drama that flew around the friendship, and I don't have the energy to put effort into a friendship that fell apart the first time.
The thing is..I'm 21..and after being single for all of 2011.. I guess I'm starting to experience loneliness..I want someone there. I'm not looking because you you look you can't find it(hence how this idiot came back into my life after I came home). I just simply don't have the energy and effort for a relationship anymore.. I feel like I can't give guys the affection and energy and effort I used to have. (link)
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You are going for guys who are all unavailable to you emotionally. Was your dad available in your life? If not, if he was absent either physically or emotionally you are doing that a lot of women do, repeat their home life in their personal lives. The only real cure for that is therapy/counseling.
By the way, when you invite a guy to your house he is expecting sex. So don't do it unless you are either having a party with other people involved or you want to have a relationship with him.
It's evident your pretty immature when it comes to dealing with men because you started late with relationships. That isn't a crime, it just is what it is. People all bloom at different times.
The mental trick to conquering loneliness is to have a concrete idea of what you want in a partner and then don't settle until you get it (of course, nobody is perfect, so you gotta have a little wiggle room in there). When you give in to loneliness and the desperation it fosters you effectively allow others to manipulate you and you hate yourself for it. So take some control, determine what the agenda for your life is and then move forward without allowing anyone to sabotage you.
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That is a complete lie none of them were "unavilable to me emotionally" I have made my ex cry many times. I didn't get into my first actual relationship until I was in college, because I knew I was MATURE to handle it..not some highschool petty relationship. and you're acting as if I slept around with every guy..and again I am almost 22, I lost my virginity at a mature age of 19..not whoring around at 15-16 years old..I know better than what guys think. Not every guy wants sex okay. I know my way around how guys think and what to feel, I know I am pretty mature on how to handle men. I guess you failed to realize I said I was iffty on the guy that was 11 years older than I am.. (CLEARLY STATING I KNEW BETTER!). You didn't even answer what I stated, you decided to attack me as if I am some little 14 year old girl letting evey guy in my pants.
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