Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 35236
|
| |
I have a girlfriend who has a serious kinky fetish she finds very erotic. She can't seem to stop putting her hand over my mouth AND keeping it there. She does this dozens of times to me throughout the day, especially in open public and at the movies. Usually it is to keep me quiet so she can talk. I am expected to sit quietly and not touch her hand. But there is a definite foreplay/sexual overtone to it that I do appreciate.
She especially likes to do it in front of others and strangers, most often her girlfriends. And once her hand is clamped over my mouth, she doesn't seem to know when to let go! Her girlfriends see it as cute, affectionate, intimate, and sexual. She has even invited a few of her girlfriends to do this to me and several of them have been doing so!
I asked her why she does it. She said that covering my mouth allows her to feel in control and dominant as a woman. She calls it girl-power. In truth, I don't really mind it because her hands are very pretty, soft, sweet-scented, and clean. And it does feel very erotic and intimate to let her control my speech.
But there are times I would like to be able to talk and be heard or understood. Having your girlfriend's hand over your mouth every day for long periods of time with orders not to speak certainly does put her in control. And sometimes she expects me to talk while she keeps her hand in place for her own amusement!
I really love her and don't want to end the relationship over this. But she says she cannot stop the behavior because doing it in front of others gives her a heady rush of sexual excitement and disciplinary control. Some might call her fetish controlling, rude, immature, and inconsiderate.
Is there a way I can better appreciate or understand her hand-over-mouth habit? Is this normal affection and intimate foreplay? Is it appropriate for her girlfriends to do this to me too? I cannot get her to stop and in general, I don't dislike her habit--especially in private. But I would like to be able to talk sometimes and not be so controlled. Is there a balance?
Any thoughts on her fetish and how to modify or live with it without making a big deal out of it? Thanks for any wisdom or insight you may have. (link)
|
Here is what you do: you ask her if you can schedule a time to talk about whatever issues you have and that is when you air your grievances. Write them down as they come to mind for when she allows you to discuss them. Otherwise, be quiet like a good little subbie boy and obey your Mistress.
That last sentence is said half in jest, but that is really what she wants. She is humiliating you in front of her girlfriends and you seem fine with it. That's cool, but keep in mind that the BDSM world is obsessed with protocol, so you two have to discuss what your own protocol and limits as a couple will be.
|
|
Rating: 5
|
Thank you1 Very interesting advice as I compare it to the other advice I got. I love your liberal-minded spirit toward BDSM and erotica, Voice of Reason. Extremely refreshing! You didn't condemn me or her nor bash us. You didn't mistreat or disrespect me like some have here. Yes, I do admit to being a subbie who does love to obey his mistress, especially since she is much younger than I! I did love your joke. It makes for great foreplay!
So I think what you are saying is: If I schedule a meeting time with her to talk about everything on my mind, then that will allow her all the erotic time she wants to keep her hand over my mouth whenever she likes in public--for as long as she likes! And I can enjoy her hand without the feeling that I would like to talk. Do I read you right? I love it!!! Best advice anyone has yet given me! Lisa will love this too! You understand this so well! I think I love you! Really.
May I please ask a follow-up question contained in my initial query, since you are so refreshing? You seem to be one who feels that displaying an erotic fetish in public is okay, if I read you right. So, with that in mind, is it okay for Lisa's girlfriends to also copycat her and put THEIR erotic hands over my mouth whenever they wish in public, one girl at a time? Is that too kinky or liberal or unethica/immoral? If Lisa is fine with it, if the girls are fine with it, if I am fine with it? Is it "cheating" on Lisa to share erotic intimacy with them via their hands? It's EXTREMELY erotic for me to have a young woman's hand over my mouth to restrict my ability to speak. I love being controlled, dominated, and disciplined by very young women and teenage girls. What is your honest opinion?
You made my week and my month. You ARE the Voice of Reason. I think I just found the advice columnist of the year. I AM IN LOVE NOW!!!
|
|