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If you're attracted to girls there's nothing wrong with being in a relationship with a girl. Sometimes people turn gay or lesbian because they don't feel like they're getting treated the same by the opposite sex, just be aware of the fact that just because you're in a same sex relationship does not necessarily mean that you will find it much better.. I hate to say that to you.
I don't know if online dating is your thing, before I started doing it out of curiosity and really met some of the guys (one of those guys I'm currently with, and he's my longest running relationship) on there I was skeptical about it too. If you are willing to try this, I would recommend to be safe have a friend meet this person with you and go to a public place, such as a restaurant or a mall. My first date with someone that I met online was at Starbucks, I met my current boyfriend at an outlet mall in my area.
P.S. I don't know if you'll view this, but I'm going to try to respond to your feedback I don't think that there's anything wrong with you. Sometimes people go through strains of bad luck with dating, and find themselves in abusive relationships. It is very common for abuse survivors to feel like it is their fault, have you received any counseling for your problems?
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