Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
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Last Update: May 3, 2012
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How do I get my mother to speak to me?
At the end of April I couldn't take anymore silence, the way she took hundreds of pounds from me and tried to stop me going to family events. After a very bad weekend at work I found out that my mum and the rest of her family had done an easter meal without me while I did a ten hour shift on the sunday, when for the past 15 years or more (I am 20 and female).
I had been bullied at work that weekend and was literally only working to give her money as she never got food or anything for me when she went shopping despite me giving her just short of £200 a month which was more than half of my wages.
I was heartbroken and stayed at a friend's for a few days before I tried to talk to her but she just sent me nasty text messages saying everything was my fault.
While staying at my friend's I split up with my fiance and started a new relationship with someone I now used to work with. He is 34 and separated from his wife. When my mum found out she text my ex saying she was sorry our relationship ended, however she emailed me and called me a marriage wrecker as she heard from a friend that my boyfriend was still married.
After a few months my friend threw me out and my Nana is now letting me stay at her house while I get a new job and while me and my boyfriend find somewhere to live. However every time mum comes round I get asked to leave because she has no interest in building brides or having anything to do with me.
What do I do? She does not answer any form of contact that I give her and I always ask my Nan how she is when I know she has been round.
She hasn't been the best mum in the world but despite her being anti social towards me I just want her back. (link)
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Honestly, your mother sounds bitter, self absorbed, and like she wants to blame all her problems on you. It sounds like SHE has the problem, not you.
I would focus on getting your life together, get your new job and find a place to live, and be independent. Don't let your mom bring you down. Get a stable life, and then you can try to talk to your mom again.
I would seriously suggest going to therapy together. It sounds like you have tried to make things work and she isn't trying.
You can still be apart of your family and lean on other relatives for support, even if your mom is in the way.
I really hope you can work this out, and I wish you the best in acheiving your goals.
-Abby
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Rating: 4
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Thanks for the support and trying to achieve a happier life each day. We had therapy when I was nine years old when she decided that I had behavioural problems, despite other family members and teachers having no problems with me. All that happened was that we got on for two weeks and we never went back because the therapist thought it was fixed. From what I gather she blamed my confusing upbringing as my mum only looked after me 3 full days a week. Other relatives are scared of upsetting her so they're quite distant with me but they weren't when I used to put up with her.
On the plus side my boyfriend is getting a viewer on his house tomorrow so we're getting closer to becoming a 'normal couple'.
Thanks again.
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