A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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I dont know what to do. Im only 14 and ive been in a relationship with this boy for a year, on and off now, and he's been talking about us having a child. Ive been really thinking about this and I really feel like Im ready for something like this. I know its not exactly a walk in the park bringing up a child and that it isnt something i can just forget about if i get fed up of the responsibilities. I do want to have a child with him now but honestly im not sure if I should. I saw what you said to some girls question and just thought youd be able to help. Please reply, Im not sure who else to ask.
Thanks:) x (link)
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You have no conception at 14 what adult life is like or how to handle it, cope with it, thrive in it.
You will not be prepared to really be a mother to a child until you have been on your own as an adult providing for yourself for a few years. Until you are at that point you really do not have enough to offer your child to justify having one.
I can't explain this so that you'll really understand. You're 14, you don't know what responsibility really is like. The day in, day out struggle to provide for yourself. Without having done it yourself, you won't be able to teach a child how to do it herself.
Further, kids are shaped by even the mannerisms of their parents. You're not an adult, how do you expect to behave like one for your child so they grow up with that as an example? Most people finish maturing around 25, you're a decade short of becoming the person you'll actually be for the rest of your life and you think you can teach kids how to be themselves when you don't know who you are yet?
You feel like you're ready for something like this because you really, truly, have no idea what "something like this" entails. You see the abstract ideas without feeling the reality.
Wait a decade. Seriously. Wait until you're married or something. Wait until you are in a relationship with an adult who you know you can depend on to be there with you and for you, with your kid and for your kid.
Do you think this boy you're in an on and off relationship with is ready to be a father? Of course he isn't, he's young enough to date a 14 year old. Don't you think your kid will want two loving parents, not one and a guy who wishes he hadn't been young and stupid with someone else just as young and stupid?
Go watch 16 and pregnant. The show will give you most of what you need to know. Yeah, it's possible to make it. No, there isn't a respectable teen mother on the face of the planet who doesn't wish she'd been smarter and waited to have her kid.
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Rating: 5
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THANK YOU! You helped save me from the WORST decision of my life! He was 18 and getting with 4 other girls I know of. He said he would only love ME forever but he was trying to get all of us pregnant at the same time. He got two girls pregnant so far that I heard of and one girl has TWO babies by him! This is the second guy I dated that wanted me to have his baby and the second guy who was busy with a whole bunch of other girls at the same time! LAST BLACK GUY I DATE EVER!
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